Bleach

EvilToasterElfEvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
edited February 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
This is the first one I've written since I got back to school - I hope nobody else lives in a town like this...




Bleach


I live in a dirty town,
grayer than the ethereal hair
of the windows who live in
the burned out peaks of Johnson City.
Each day I wipe a new layer of grime from
my window which clouds like a snow globe
left to dust and mothballs in a shoe box
filled with pictures of old vacations, sun burned
and smiling in the Keys.

I live in an old town,
water bursts from pipes far more
often than inspiration from empty
factories, and more fender benders are
caused by baby boomers than teenagers.
Blenders, Microwaves, and Toasters, rattle
the vomit greens and jaundice yellow of peeling
paint, not replaced since the sunset on JFK’s corpse
that ominous day in Texas.

I live in a poor town,
filled with midnight scavengers, prying through garbage
for recyclable beer bottles, to complete the cycle.
They share the night with overweight whores, who
prowl bare assed down Mather St. looking for a light.
Neighbors greet with a dimebag, handshakes are a waste of time.

I live in a dull town,
home of a two block sprawl of cheap bars, and lifetime holder
of the title, “Carousel Capital of the USA.” because even going in
circles is movement, spin around and watch the smiling faces of
parents and siblings shuffling between three jobs to cling to the milky
meniscus of the poverty line, only to be poured into the cracks of
state budgets and federal work programs,
under the quiet snow.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • dude i really enjoyed that one...it was hilailarious...no one every writes funny and fun poetry anymore...it's a dying art...you kick some ass
    if you're a pot smoker and you don't own a ukulele you're fuckin up...but then once you get a ukulele you might end up moving to a guitar because its a gateway instrument you know
    ~ EV 6/25/03
  • Well-sketched bleakness there, ETE. :)

    I like it starting out "I live in a dirty town...." but the other "I live in a....." didn't add anything, an almost unnessecary repetition IMO, especially when the wonderful descriptions you use in the last stanza, which deal with the town's dullness, would've been better placed in the third stanza, which deals with the town's poverty.

    Still an excellent piece, though.
  • Thanks Radar, It seems like whenever I try to write a poem with a qualifier for the stanzas it starts to fall flat, I guess I just have to find a medium that matches the right sound, thanks for the feedback
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