Country Real Estate

EvilToasterElfEvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
edited April 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Country Real Estate

After pacing his house for 60 years,
his body became those hardwood floors,
that groan under the pressure of footsteps.
He strode silently for fifteen of those years
before bending into the slope of his cane,
slowly falling into the black fabric
of his steel wheelchair.
The months between visits whittle his bones
like the oak crossbeams,
blessed by the appetite of termites.
until his joints hollowed into
an instrument of complaint.
The lives within his dusty rolodex
continued to gather speed
when the symphony of liver pills and calcium drinks,
was silenced by a lapse of the wind
over the floorboards.

A couple from Connecticut came two weeks later
to buy his house, and pace their own path
into the dark, warped wood.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • even flow?even flow? Posts: 8,066
    Nice to see you come back to the pit. I really liked this little writing. I could almost see my mom with the words you had written.
    You've changed your place in this world!
  • EvilToasterElfEvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
    thanks ef, the biggest rush as a poet is being told that someone could identify with your words, even if it's brought back pain it's brought back something that makes us feel alive, and that's really the goal of art in general, so cheers to you sir
  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    absolutely...

    been wondering where you've been...


    nice read, very nice :)
  • EvilToasterElfEvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
    it's nice to be missed
  • "his joints hollowed into
    an instrument of complaint"

    The whole thing was detailed and felt significant, somehow, but this line was my favorite.
    I wish I was a Democrat
    One that had a chance to win
    I wish I was a Republican
    But would I be a human being?
    --from 'Wishlist,' 7/6/03, Philadelphia

    http://www.livejournal.com/users/tracingdaisies
  • EvilToasterElfEvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
    I'm happy you said that because that line has been through more changes than any other part of the poem, so I'm glad it worked out
  • BuruBuru Posts: 8,473
    a very good read
    very descriptive of the ageing process of this man, I could feel him growing old and bent and whittled

    I like the break towards the ending, but something about those last 3 lines is not working for me. The last one I really like (dark warped wood) rolls of the tongue very nicely. Maybe it's just unexpected - if I could better explain myself I would, this is of course just me
    y la banda de Guille... cuando toca?
  • EvilToasterElfEvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
    Thanks for the words Buru, but I think we'll have to agree to disagree about the ending, I thought it was the strongest part of the poem, if anybody else would like to throw their hats in on this be my guest.
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