Sitting Behind the House

EvilToasterElfEvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
edited August 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
it's interesting what happens when the only thing you try to do is lock a stream of consciousness into something like a fluid box...




Sitting behind the house, in the one chair afforded the small area under the deck
I read poetry written in the 80’s by a man who, may not be the same man now,
Wracked by so many years of being a poet, an undervalued artist, who reads his books now? Who represents the audience he pours his soul to, would he hate them if he met them? He is not a rockstar, the figure who has eclipsed the poet, and bastardized his trade. Parades of women do not follow him on tour, hoping that sex will somehow bring them closer to a greatness they never plan to achieve.

Sitting behind the house, my dog lies a few feet in front of me, staring into the distance, occasionally swiping her mouth at the nearby bees, never coming with a foot of their agile flight patterns. Why does she sit so loyally next to my chair, while I pay no attention to her pants, what does she think about, if the pictures in a dog’s mind could be transferred into words, hunger, thirst, lust, dogs feel all these things, these unspoken desires the same way we do. The same way we can stare at a painting, hanging on the wall of a museum, the image reversed against the black wall of our unconscious, tugging desires into our minds which we can never communicate, never fully understand, so we move on to the next and the next, with this series of colors firing up the neurons of our brain attempting to cajole words from our mouth like a sparkplug failing to start the engine. What are we in some instances but the slobbering animals we came from, so unable to connect these trappings of thoughts to each other?

Sitting behind the house, the mountains point to the roving bands of cumulus clouds, the winds shifting the puffy traffic of faces, and fire engines, and upside down horses around the sky, like some shifting montage of dreams we can’t quite remember in the morning. Forgotten dreams linger like the thoughts of dogs, like the strings of emotions we can’t place into the categories we know so well; happy, morose, anxious. I try to think of the last dream I had, I remember sleeping over my grandmother’s house, and she has become incontinent, urinating all over the floors, and she screams and falls asleep on the couch next to me, and I walk to the back door and dawn has burst through the screams, and I hear police sirens, and I see a desperate man running and banging on the neighbor’s front door, and I panic, lock the sliding glass door, and the bathroom windows, and when I return frantically from the bathroom, he is impossibly there, staring at me through the back door, wearing a face with no features except violence, desperation, and he points a gun at me and I wake up. What emotions do I feel? Where can I find the words to describe such a story in the wavering clouds, in the face of a dog, in the colors on the canvas, in the words of a poem?
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    very nice, evil
    that darkness came up and scared me just like a nightmare

    trippy
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    I enjoy reading internal dialogue.

    Don't you think it's interesting that anything you try to put down on paper (in your fluid box) is always so small compared to the many, many thoughts scrambling through your head in even just a few minutes in a chair?
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • justam wrote:
    I enjoy reading internal dialogue.

    Don't you think it's interesting that anything you try to put down on paper (in your fluid box) is always so small compared to the many, many thoughts scrambling through your head in even just a few minutes in a chair?

    Or during one face melting 5 minute even flow solo live
  • DopeBeastieDopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    ohh... like San Antonio... yeah yeah
  • WOW, ETE, you're good! Really, really good! :) It's amazing the thoughts that run through our heads when we're alone, doing the everyday things and the way you put this together is just excellent. Thanks for that. :) I could read it over and over and not tire of it.
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
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