FINALLY...a poem about Wal-Mart

EvilToasterElfEvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
edited October 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
24 Hour Supercenter

minivans speed down aisle after aisle
in the glare of hoods and trunks
a red caravan cuts off a rusted Dodge neon
its driver a retired woman
in a plum dress
“Damn it!” she yells to an empty passenger side
to the ghost of a husband beaten by lung cancer and Jack Daniels
and the shadows of two grown up children, fleeing the scene of
a crime,
abusive parenting
an overweight mother
piles her 4 children out of the van,
to the lawnmowers, go-karts wrapped in chains, and garden blocks
outside
at the entrance two old men greet me
one with red frames, one thick black
the glasses compliment the blue vest
with a motto on their back
“How may I help you?”
a smartly dressed blonde woman in her 30’s,
wears shoes that sting tile
begging eyes to rise to the seams of her tight jeans,
and a body toned by gym membership
She averts her glance from a local,
holding hands with his young son,
he smiles to her backside,
lowering his gaze to her ass, revealing gaps in his teeth.
i get to the food section and look back,
three quarters of a mile away lies the auto care center
thousands of men died
to gain less distance at the Somme
i can see the brigades charge over the trenches of DVD racks
dodge under the barbed wire Christmas lights
avoid the machine gun nest in arts and crafts, hidden behind a wall
of felt
countless athletes have sustained lifelong injuries
to move a ball half that distance
driving through the defensive line of specially priced bean bag chairs
the quarterback rolls back to sporting goods, and fires a rifle, straight to his
wide receiver in the autocare zone, where he’s tackled hard by an employee
past his prime
a sniper may have been this far from Kennedy,
cruising down lingerie with his top down
while a scope held his head like a newborn child from dinnerware
What do, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and Lucky the leprechaun, have in common?
One third of a child’s meals and none of their nutrition
in the frozen foods section
i hear a kid scream “I want ice-pops”
the mother says “No!” and in a lowered voice
“Be quiet! You’re embarrassing me!”
i turn to “box dinners” and “international”
where the same pleading voice asks
for potato chips
continuing my malaise down the aisle i
see the woman rear back and smack
him across the face
“we have a spill on aisle nine, moral leak on aisle nine, Fred can you get
a mop”
the toy aisles are colorful but empty
a shrill scream can be heard from the pet section
they have no real pets there, just goldfish and pet food
under the bright blue RX sign
one woman leans on her walker
buckling under the weight of her own life prolonging
prescriptions
check-out lanes run down the length of the
store, the final hurdle between coveting and owning
a loud beep registers each bar code
and a silent shuffle of employees moves the items into bags
black semi-transparent bubbles dart out of the ceiling
they reflect shapes and movement
but half of them are empty,
a small deterrent
they hang like crude oil raindrops sprayed onto
the leaves of endangered Venezuelan herbs
in “Regal Nails” a family of young Asians toil
inhaling fumes and chemicals for 2 bucks a nail
outside
every aisle of the parking lot has two spaces
“Reserved for expectant mothers” with a picture
of a stork
He wasn’t dropping kids in the toy section
A red haired girl and three boys play in Chevrolet Express
abandoned to other parking lot prisoners
towing their gods in carts
wrapped in paper or plastic
waiting for dick clark to fall with a giant check
behind me a red Ford has a fly-guard stating
“Praise the Lord”
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • HAHA

    Thats perfect!!
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • That poem happened when I went to Wal-Mart with a notebook - in the beginning it was 5 pages long. But I think I captured the essence in the slightly shorter version
  • you need to add something about those annoying people who run into you r legs with their carts, appologize, then do it again 10 seconds later. LOOK FORWARD WHILE WALKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • I was sitting with a teacher of mine, talking about how nobody uses the word soul anymore in poetry, and he asked me where I thought it had gone. My first response was of course Wal-Mart...so down I went
  • stuckinlinestuckinline Posts: 3,369
    evil toaster elf, this is FANTASTIC!
    you have completely captured the "essence" of wal-mart.
    keep writing and posting!
  • Excellent, ETE! "Praise the Lord" and shop at Wal-Mart. :rolleyes: Ya gotta love it! :D
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • twin2twin2 Posts: 894
    This was extremely realistic and funny. Thanks for posting that. Your descriptions are great.
  • It's all straight out of the Binghamton Wal-Mart, thanks for the comments
  • weedweed Posts: 475
    wal-mart sucks.

    they have like 28 checkout lanes
    but only 2 of them will be open

    when the cashier gets everything added up,
    they just stand there and look at you...
    they don't tell you how much money you owe or anything
    so you're left looking around...trying to stretch your neck
    to the other side of that little square that sticks up
    with your total on it. no thank you, fuck you or anything!
    (I swear this is true...go to the super wal-mart in
    Middlesboro, KY. Every cashier, every time.)

    the wal-mart in our town is USELESS!
    the store is full of shit you don't want
    they never have what you are looking for
    example:
    shampoo and conditioner
    they will have your shampoo
    but not the conditioner

    why do they put out certain items way ahead of time?
    like right after christmas they put out valentines day stuff
    and the day before valentines day they put out easter baskets
    what the fuck is up with that?
    if you don't buy your kid a halloween costume
    on the same day that you buy them
    new clothes and supplies for school in august
    YOU ARE FUCKED!!!
    everything is gone way before the holiday gets here

    and why do people always seem to stand and talk to
    each other right in front of the items that you need?
    they gather up in the middle of the aisle...no way around them

    fuck you wal-mart

    :)
  • isnt a man good enough for a woman except for my son
    thanks to everyone who can read what i write without having to say something mean
  • stuckinlinestuckinline Posts: 3,369
    weed wrote:
    wal-mart sucks.

    they have like 28 checkout lanes
    but only 2 of them will be open

    when the cashier gets everything added up,
    they just stand there and look at you...
    they don't tell you how much money you owe or anything
    so you're left looking around...trying to stretch your neck
    to the other side of that little square that sticks up
    with your total on it. no thank you, fuck you or anything!
    (I swear this is true...go to the super wal-mart in
    Middlesboro, KY. Every cashier, every time.)

    the wal-mart in our town is USELESS!
    the store is full of shit you don't want
    they never have what you are looking for
    example:
    shampoo and conditioner
    they will have your shampoo
    but not the conditioner

    why do they put out certain items way ahead of time?
    like right after christmas they put out valentines day stuff
    and the day before valentines day they put out easter baskets
    what the fuck is up with that?
    if you don't buy your kid a halloween costume
    on the same day that you buy them
    new clothes and supplies for school in august
    YOU ARE FUCKED!!!
    everything is gone way before the holiday gets here

    and why do people always seem to stand and talk to
    each other right in front of the items that you need?
    they gather up in the middle of the aisle...no way around them

    fuck you wal-mart

    :)
    sounds like the wal-mart near my house. plus, it does NOT sell pj cd's.
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    At least you can camp out in a motorhome or your car at wal-mart for free.
    JUst think...minimum wage and insurance benefits @ Wal-mart.
    Sounds good for me when I decide to back out of the arts....:)


    Nice poem ETE!
    "WRITE ON DUDE!!!!!!!":D
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • Ali wrote:
    At least you can camp out in a motorhome or your car at wal-mart for free.
    JUst think...minimum wage and insurance benefits @ Wal-mart.
    Sounds good for me when I decide to back out of the arts....:)


    Nice poem ETE!
    "WRITE ON DUDE!!!!!!!":D

    I actually discovered recently why you can camp out in a Wal-Mart parking lot. Sam Walton made the rule up after a young niece of his was raped and killed because she got kicked out of a parking lot somewhere. A sad story with a happy ending for rednecks and drunk high school kids everywhere.
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