The Squid In Your Fridge

FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Posts: 12,223
edited December 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
PRESENTER: Hello, good evening and welcome to The Squid In Your Fridge, a topical forum where we invite a guest squid from a selected fridge from Walnut Tree Avenue, Bromsgrove to chair a discussion on one of the burning, bubbling, crispy, well done and beautiful with gravy issues of the day. Today, we discuss Energy Consumption: Are we consuming too much energy for our own good? Our guests tonight:

W.B.J. "Pius" Bunkumheimer XII, joint head of Bunkumheimer & Bunkumheimer MultiglobalmegaOilCorps Inc., here from Houston to argue against the motion --

W.B.J: Howdy -

and, in the interests of fairness and free speech on our network programme:

J.B.W. "Trigger" Rodgers Bunkumheimer CLXII, also joint head of Bunkumheimer & Bunkumheimer MultiglobalmegaOilCorps Inc., here from Houston to argue against the motion --

J.B.W: Ah'd juss like t'say ah flew in on a differen' plane from Dubya Bee Jay muh bruddah here, though we waz both flyin' in from Houston, yass.

W.B.J.: Yahh, we both gots private planes, y'all, big uns. Mah one has Elvis Vegas sequins on duh body an' flared wings. Eats a lotta fuel too.

J.B.W: An' cheeseburgers.

W.B.J: Yah. Gotta have an energy policy dat encourages consumption. A very great fella said dat.

J.B.W.: Amen heee deed. An uh, mah plane is customised tah emit only dah very finest greenhouse gases. Kinda makes a guy feel rich an powerful to know he's responsible for 98% percent of duh world's pollution. It's a status thang.

SQUID: But have you never heard of Kyoto?

W.B.J: Sure thang. Danged shame, dangnabbit. Beatles'd still be together if she'd never showed up.

J.B.W: Spit dang hail dass the truth, y'all. Ah always liked dat Ringo. He wuzz duh real genius of duh band, don't care what no-one says.

W.B.J: Dass right, baby bruddah.

SQUID: So, what do you two gentlemen say to claims that your policies of consumption are precipitating steadily increasing concentrations of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere net (6.1 billion metric tons of anthropogenic carbon dioxide emissions produced annually) that add approximately 3.2 billion metric tons to the atmosphere per year, forcing irreversible imbalance between emissions and absorption results in the continuing growth in greenhouse gases in the atmosphere?
J.B.W:Holy Benjamins, a talkin' squid!
W.B.J.Ya think dat's the result of climate change? Ya think we did dat?
SQUIDIt's evolution, baby! Goodnight![/color]
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • PRESENTER: Hello, good evening and welcome to The Squid In Your Fridge, a topical forum where we invite a guest squid from a selected fridge from Walnut Tree Avenue, Bromsgrove to chair a discussion on one of the burning, bubbling, crispy, well done and beautiful with gravy issues of the day. Today, we discuss Energy Consumption: Are we consuming too much energy for our own good? Our guests tonight:

    W.B.J. "Pius" Bunkumheimer XII, joint head of Bunkumheimer & Bunkumheimer MultiglobalmegaOilCorps Inc., here from Houston to argue against the motion --

    W.B.J: Howdy -

    and, in the interests of fairness and free speech on our network programme:

    J.B.W. "Trigger" Rodgers Bunkumheimer CLXII, also joint head of Bunkumheimer & Bunkumheimer MultiglobalmegaOilCorps Inc., here from Houston to argue against the motion --

    J.B.W: Ah'd juss like t'say ah flew in on a differen' plane from Dubya Bee Jay muh bruddah here, though we waz both flyin' in from Houston, yass.

    W.B.J.: Yahh, we both gots private planes, y'all, big uns. Mah one has Elvis Vegas sequins on duh body an' flared wings. Eats a lotta fuel too.

    J.B.W: An' cheeseburgers.

    W.B.J: Yah. Gotta have an energy policy dat encourages consumption. A very great fella said dat.

    J.B.W.: Amen heee deed. An uh, mah plane is customised tah emit only dah very finest greenhouse gases. Kinda makes a guy feel rich an powerful to know he's responsible for 98% percent of duh world's pollution. It's a status thang.

    SQUID: But have you never heard of Kyoto?

    W.B.J: Sure thang. Danged shame, dangnabbit. Beatles'd still be together if she'd never showed up.

    J.B.W: Spit dang hail dass the truth, y'all. Ah always liked dat Ringo. He wuzz duh real genius of duh band, don't care what no-one says.

    W.B.J: Dass right, baby bruddah.

    SQUID: So, what do you two gentlemen say to claims that your policies of consumption are precipitating steadily increasing concentrations of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere (net 6.1 billion metric tons of anthropogenic carbon dioxide emissions produced annually)? That you add approximately 3.2 billion metric tons to the atmosphere per year, forcing irreversible imbalance between emissions and absorption and the continuing growth in greenhouse gases in the atmosphere?

    J.B.W:Holy Benjamins, a talkin' squid!

    W.B.J.Ya think dat's the result of climate change? Ya think we did dat?

    J.B.W.Hail, git it back in duh fridge. Unpatriotic mutant squids questionin' energy policy! The time uh revelation is at hand! And at claw!

    SQUIDIt's evolution, baby! Goodnight!
  • That's funny :D
  • ISNISN Posts: 1,700
    I did like this....Fins do a good poem or something for Christmas Day....
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • I'll find some time on Christmas Day for you and I'll write a PJ Christmas song. :cool:
  • reminds me of the type of thing you see on the Essay page in the back of Time magazine every now and then, with cartoons accompanying it. You should try to sell this somewhere Fins...
    .........................................................................
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