Slight Return

FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Posts: 12,223
And now new woods soar fast and grown
upon our bog of stone,
our plain of precious loss, gale blown:
our days of cold are done.

And now thick trees, set broad and bold
upon our reedrush field,
block pastward roads. We're told our old
lamenting ways should yield.

We cannot see the mountain now
upon our land where slow,
Godbreezed nothingness would blow
more than a leafy show.
Post edited by Unknown User on

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  • The evening went well, Jim thinks. They paid
    him cash, always a boon for poetry
    read live. A vital crowd. No, not the staid
    old tweedy lot you'd mainly get. The try-
    out of those newer pieces live was ... nice
    road testing, nice ... A girl sat at the front.
    She mouthed out her number to him twice:
    Should have spoken to her. Hmm, you don't
    Pass these chances up. That's what's at stake
    in this: a lonesome gravestone. Shame the night
    ended when it did, a little late to make
    The Swimmers for last orders. It's the blight
    of this old life: that words should be the curse
    to keep one from good loving and the throng
    of life out there. To write to make a purse
    dries up the throat and falsifies the song.

    Jim thanks the organisers, then shakes hands
    and quits the 'net cafe. Coats and shoes
    flap past him. Cold air breath streams past in bands
    that smell of burger vans. Hot, banshee throes
    begin to agonise his frosted ears:
    Some lads, whose song "One- nil, one-nil, one- nil",
    provokes in him an echo of the good old years
    when no-one read his work. "I'd party 'til
    I couldn't stand or talk, but never bore
    and never spout out poetry. I'd swear,
    love, curse, fall down, get up for more.
    Then words came in the morning with my fear.
    How dare these lovers mouth to me and rude
    young louts shout out the score as if to chide
    me, left to walk these streets alone? Plain, crude
    words will mock my solitary pride."

    He slaps his forehead. "Thinking like an ass
    again, old James?" Moonlight on his boots
    makes a moment's poem. It will pass
    when he looks before him and he roots
    through faces passing for that prettiness
    he saw tonight. And there she is, just by,
    behind another cafe window, her dress
    offpink, seamed with one red butterfly
    sequined, a flash of memories
    of Jean, his first wife. Pah. A young man sits,
    just opposite. "Don't listen to his lies!"
    He mutters on the glass. The kid takes hits
    deep from his coffee cup and starts to mouth
    some monolgue. The girl's eyes narrow now.
    "Oh no. A would-be poet. Stupid youth!
    Girl! Run from his sham, his flash, his show,

    His verbless scrawl without a period,
    Those metaphors he mixes,those broad
    fat brushstrokes drawn to make a blob a god
    inside his world view splodge. Run from that toad
    and find a carpenter, a fisherman,
    a coalman or a beggar, but don't fall
    for someone with a notebook and a wan,
    world-weary look and wish to offload all
    that poetry on you. Get out of there,
    live, start breathing, love, try not to care
    about the Beat!" A pigeon raised its cere
    to look up at him. "Tell me, does he scare
    you, little birdy? Does your instinct say
    That kid's a poet, summoning chill rain
    over his lover's life? You'd run away,
    dear bird! If only humans had your brain."

    Jim heads through midnight crowds, and breathing in
    he feels the river breeze upon his face
    and reaches bridge still silence. There within
    cool waters down below, there's the embrace
    of lovers from high stars where no word
    hinders kissings. Jim looks to the still
    unrippling river belly where the cord
    to good moonmotherness remains. Until
    the river ends, the heart of poetry
    is nameless, moonknown, whiteblack; here
    he knows in shadows where the song lies. "Try
    not to make a sound", he thinks. "Not where
    the light on water's all. I'll live from now
    watching midnight water for the glow
    of starlain lovers on the stream. And free
    from words, I'll laugh, and dance, and learn to Be."
  • I

    An eminent philosopher, she said,
    taught to her a pier glass parable:
    the ego is a candle flame, its light
    radiates bright circles in its pass
    across thin scratches in its sphere. She laid
    down in prose, clear, inexorable,
    how the random scratches under bright
    candlelight seem shaped in the glass
    concentrically to the candle's keep.
    But prose might miss the magic of this sight,
    as science without soul will often do.
    The candlelight is Love, glass patterns deep
    soul glimmerings. The energy of light
    draws all within its simple orbit, so.

    II

    Let the river beam my lover's eyes
    December sunned, where in morning come
    gulls making circles on the verging air
    above these reeds from which I sit and peer
    out upon the fenlands, black. Here, yes,
    here I'll summon magic, calling home
    five thousand miles of whispers from one, fair
    voice upon brook motion from a sheer
    silent field, southwestern. Let me behold
    my lover's eyes five thousand times in wide
    Washward rolls of northward riverflow:
    Let morning hang its tenderness like gold
    hair lain on my breast, her hair: Inside
    the river, beam my love's bejewelled glow.
  • I hope that packing disturbs as it fizzes.
  • Well you know it's said. Aye it is. That I know well. The tide will come. High tide. In the spring. Aye, that's what was said. It will come one night. Them currents is always shifting. Full moon and a high tide. In the spring, and the currents shifting. And all the Doons, all those dwelling on the black ford will be swept away. It says that. No warning, nothing.
    It's in the prophecies. And the prophecies is locked away in the Church, in fact the Church of Rome. There was a man going out the sandybanks, he was driving the cows into the sea to wash them, I heard. one cow turned around and spoke to him. Looked him in the eye and prophecied World War Two and the bomb and all things that are locked away. Prophecied even things about my own family. And these prophecies are known and every one has come true to date. I had a house down by yours beyond, down on the bog road by the turn, over across there towards Fahy. Of course you could see my house across the field there. Mine is the one with no roof now, I still have the land there but I might sell. It's alright for grazing and such. But I hear them prophecies and you know, the sea takes away a good bit of the land every year. You can see when the tide's out there are tree stumps there. Your grandfather cut those trees. The tide's washed that much away since. You should be thinking of moving. I have a house in Claggan. Rhododendron and orchids growing along the roads, it's beautiful with the sun blazing in the spring and the honey bees big and yellow and making shadows on the grass. Come to Claggan boy. Doona's for the sea.
  • pearlmuttpearlmutt Posts: 392
    Moonlight on his boots
    makes a moment's poem.

    that is absolutely gorgeous. I'm going to write it down in my little notebook.
  • pearlmuttpearlmutt Posts: 392
    Rhododendron and orchids growing along the roads, it's beautiful with the sun blazing in the spring and the honey bees big and yellow and making shadows on the grass.

    here there is an area where the rhododendron were so thick that when the explorers first found it they named the area the hells because that is what it was like getting through them. They are still abundant, but no longer hell to get through.
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    And now new woods soar fast and grown
    upon our bog of stone,
    our plain of precious loss, gale blown:
    our days of cold are done.

    And now thick trees, set broad and bold
    upon our reedrush field,
    block pastward roads. We're told our old
    lamenting ways should yield.

    We cannot see the mountain now
    upon our land where slow,
    Godbreezed nothingness would blow
    more than a leafy show.

    I always tend to like hopeful images. :)
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    I liked reading the One-nil too! :)
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • justam wrote:
    I liked reading the One-nil too! :)

    Thanks. It's been tweaked a couple of times since I put the first drafts up about six months ago. Actually, I'm not sure now if that's the most recent tweak or not. I should pay more attention. :)
  • kdpjamkdpjam Posts: 2,303
    And now new woods soar fast and grown
    upon our bog of stone,
    our plain of precious loss, gale blown:
    our days of cold are done.

    And now thick trees, set broad and bold
    upon our reedrush field,
    block pastward roads. We're told our old
    lamenting ways should yield.

    We cannot see the mountain now
    upon our land where slow,
    Godbreezed nothingness would blow
    more than a leafy show.

    excellent, fin ;)
    lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
    ~it is shining it is shining~
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    I

    An eminent philosopher, she said,
    taught to her a pier glass parable:
    the ego is a candle flame, its light
    radiates bright circles in its pass
    across thin scratches in its sphere. She laid
    down in prose, clear, inexorable,
    how the random scratches under bright
    candlelight seem shaped in the glass
    concentrically to the candle's keep.
    But prose might miss the magic of this sight,
    as science without soul will often do.
    The candlelight is Love, glass patterns deep
    soul glimmerings. The energy of light
    draws all within its simple orbit, so.

    II

    Let the river beam my lover's eyes
    December sunned, where in morning come
    gulls making circles on the verging air
    above these reeds from which I sit and peer
    out upon the fenlands, black. Here, yes,
    here I'll summon magic, calling home
    five thousand miles of whispers from one, fair
    voice upon brook motion from a sheer
    silent field, southwestern. Let me behold
    my lover's eyes five thousand times in wide
    Washward rolls of northward riverflow:
    Let morning hang its tenderness like gold
    hair lain on my breast, her hair: Inside
    the river, beam my love's bejewelled glow.
    These two are my Favorites finns.
    I kinda love your poetic,prosey stuff.
    At first...I thought that I. was going to be about a candle let alone...yet it turned out quite interestingly enough into that deep,evil Freudian philosophy
    that tends to attack us and diminish our sense of self-worth.To Hell with psychology I say ,Finns, but executed amazingly well:)I sense your philospher
    is smarter than Freud and his theories;)
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • Ali wrote:
    These two are my Favorites finns.
    I kinda love your poetic,prosey stuff.
    At first...I thought that I. was going to be about a candle let alone...yet it turned out quite interestingly enough into that deep,evil Freudian philosophy
    that tends to attack us and diminish our sense of self-worth.To Hell with psychology I say ,Finns, but executed amazingly well:)I sense your philospher
    is smarter than Freud and his theories;)


    It's an allusion to a famous passage from "Middlemarch" by George Eliot:

    "An eminent philosopher among my friends, who can dignify even your ugly furniture by lifting it into the serene light of science, has shown me this pregnant little fact. Your pier-glass or extensive surface of polished steel made to be rubbed by a housemaid, will be minutely and multitudinously scratched in all directions; but place now against it a lighted candle as a centre of illumination, and lo! the scratches will seem to arrange themselves in a fine series of concentric circles round that little sun. It is demonstrable that the scratches are going everywhere impartially and it is only your candle which produces the flattering illusion of a concentric arrangement, its light falling with an exclusive optical selection. These things are a parable. The scratches are events, and the candle is the egoism of any person now absent-- of Miss Vincy, for example. Rosamond had a Providence of her own who had kindly made her more charming than other girls, and who seemed to have arranged Fred's illness and Mr. Wrench's mistake in order to bring her and Lydgate within effective proximity. It would have been to contravene these arrangements if Rosamond had consented to go away to Stone Court or elsewhere, as her parents wished her to do, especially since Mr. Lydgate thought the precaution needless. Therefore, while Miss Morgan and the children were sent away to a farmhouse the morning after Fred's illness had declared itself, Rosamond refused to leave papa and mamma."
  • Ms. HaikuMs. Haiku Posts: 7,265
    And now new woods soar fast and grown
    upon our bog of stone,
    our plain of precious loss, gale blown:
    our days of cold are done.

    And now thick trees, set broad and bold
    upon our reedrush field,
    block pastward roads. We're told our old
    lamenting ways should yield.

    We cannot see the mountain now
    upon our land where slow,
    Godbreezed nothingness would blow
    more than a leafy show.
    I like this one. I agree with justam that hopeful images are a pleasure to read, as are stories about, "light at the end of the tunnel." The form seems to be a bit of a departure from your usual forms, is that correct? Either way I like this form.
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • It's interesting that people see hope in that poem.
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    It's interesting that people see hope in that poem.

    I think that it seems hopeful because the old lamenting ways are gone.
    And there's a leafy show in place of a barren expanse.
    And the cold days are done.
    And new soaring growth seems healthier than a stone bog! :D
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • Okay, just farkin' about, tryin' to get a discussion goin'. :D
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