New song lyric

FinsburyParkCarrots

It's written in sonnet form, but it doesn't sound sonnet-like when you sing it. I wrote it within the last twenty minutes. Here ya go. It's nothing deep, but it's for singing, really:


Do not construe my silence as consent,
for I could never sanction what you do.
Love’s fund is closed, my last word has been spent,
that I invested in my help for you.
Now, all your trials must be in public view:
each kiss, each fight., and all must be involved
except for me; for I’ll not intervene,
since you can’t bear to have your problem solved:
You’d rather play at Kill the Go-Between.

No, I’ll not say another platitude,
nor shall I curse you. I’ll just stand away
to keep my vision of your world unskewed,
to stay unharmed by all the games you play.
No, you won’t drag me in, I’ll not be led
down where the wolvish hearts of hate are fed.

FinsburyParkCarrots

Oh. I noticed I've a line too many. Hey, I'll rewrite it here. May as well.

Do not construe my silence as consent,
for I could never sanction what you do.
Love’s fund is closed, my last word has been spent,
that I invested in my help for you.
All must be public; all must be involved.
Except for me; for I’ll not intervene,
since you can’t bear to have your problem solved:
You’d rather play at Kill the Go-Between.

No, I’ll not say another platitude,
nor shall I curse you. I’ll just stand away
to keep my vision of your world unskewed,
to stay unharmed by all the games you play.
No, you won’t drag me in, I’ll not be led
down where the wolvish hearts of hate are fed.



There, that condensed it a bit without making it too complex.

PJfaninmaine

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

Oh. I noticed I've a line too many. Hey, I'll rewrite it here. May as well.

Do not construe my silence as consent,
for I could never sanction what you do.
Love’s fund is closed, my last word has been spent,
that I invested in my help for you.
All must be public; all must be involved.
Except for me; for I’ll not intervene,
since you can’t bear to have your problem solved:
You’d rather play at Kill the Go-Between.

No, I’ll not say another platitude,
nor shall I curse you. I’ll just stand away
to keep my vision of your world unskewed,
to stay unharmed by all the games you play.
No, you won’t drag me in, I’ll not be led
down where the wolvish hearts of hate are fed.



There, that condensed it a bit without making it too complex.

Yes i like it very much. dam i wish i was as talented as you :(

Holey Ghost

very melodic, and I like the words too

kdpjam

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

It's written in sonnet form, but it doesn't sound sonnet-like when you sing it. I wrote it within the last twenty minutes. Here ya go. It's nothing deep, but it's for singing, really:


Do not construe my silence as consent,
for I could never sanction what you do.
Love’s fund is closed, my last word has been spent,
that I invested in my help for you.
Now, all your trials must be in public view:
each kiss, each fight., and all must be involved
except for me; for I’ll not intervene,
since you can’t bear to have your problem solved:
You’d rather play at Kill the Go-Between.

No, I’ll not say another platitude,
nor shall I curse you. I’ll just stand away
to keep my vision of your world unskewed,
to stay unharmed by all the games you play.
No, you won’t drag me in, I’ll not be led
down where the wolvish hearts of hate are fed.

ExCeLLeNt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

justam

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

Oh. I noticed I've a line too many. Hey, I'll rewrite it here. May as well.

Do not construe my silence as consent,
for I could never sanction what you do.
Love’s fund is closed, my last word has been spent,
that I invested in my help for you.
All must be public; all must be involved.
Except for me; for I’ll not intervene,
since you can’t bear to have your problem solved:
You’d rather play at Kill the Go-Between.

No, I’ll not say another platitude,
nor shall I curse you. I’ll just stand away
to keep my vision of your world unskewed,
to stay unharmed by all the games you play.
No, you won’t drag me in, I’ll not be led
down where the wolvish hearts of hate are fed.



There, that condensed it a bit without making it too complex.

I couldn't write a sonnet in 20 hours, and you can do it in 20 minutes.

Yay Richard!!

deadnote

someone is missin out here

FinsburyParkCarrots

I might not be the speaker in the poem. It might be a hypothetical situation. If it seemed heartfelt, maybe I wrote something okay. I often write poems about a situation, and write them as a conversation between the speaker and another person, you see. My interest is in making an idea accessible here, as a song, and expressed in plain English as a conversation (though it is a sonnet, in form).

But your interpretation is really what interests me, and what you get out of it, if anything at all.

deadnote

i thought that someone would be missing out on being with you

FinsburyParkCarrots

Ah, I don't write stuff that way.

olderman

is cool finsbury! is this set to music yet?

FinsburyParkCarrots

Yep, the words and music came together, right away.

Being Enlightened

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

Yep, the words and music came together, right away.

Gotta love when that happens! The whole song is great but, that last line is magnificent!

I read that your gig went well--look forward to checking out the archives tonight! Glad you had fun! Was it enjoyable enough to consider doing again? I mean, as long as they let you bring along a fan to keep cool.

FinsburyParkCarrots

It went absolutely great, but after watching it ... let's just say, I'm on a crash diet, and walked twelve miles this afternoon.

twin1

Great read Fins, felt like I was the one in that situation...

Ms. Haiku

Excellent, Fins! It was a joy to read as I really like your word choice.