Lyrics to a new song, "Stabat Mater"

FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
edited April 2007 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
All he hears is a pitter patter landing on galvanise
Punching as hard as the tongues that flatter, killing a king with lies
All he sees is the stabat mater, staring down from his wall
Bearing as softly as tongues of water, a sun in his rise and fall

Does he make himself clear?
Does he make himself clear?
He’s talking ‘bout his whole damn life here,
It’d be good if he made himself clear.

All he’s known is the thump and clatter of backhands across his eyes
Reigning as hard as the belts that batter, scarring shins and thighs
All he is, is a soul grown later, near his curtain call
Singing too soft and late and too old about all that made him stall

Does he make himself clear?
Does he make himself clear?
He’s talking ‘bout his whole damn life here,
It’d be good if he made himself clear.

People say, "Why did you stay so long, living with what was wrong?"
All he can say is, “At least I die strong, with these last words as my song.
If they know well enough how to kick you down, then you’ll soon forget how to run,
Staring through tears at the stabat mater, mourning her broken son.”


Do I make myself clear?
Do I make myself clear?
I’m talking ‘bout a whole damn life here,
It’d be good if I made myself clear.

Do I make myself clear?
Do I make myself clear?
I’m talking ‘bout a whole damn life here,
It’d be good if I made myself clear.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Bu2Bu2 Posts: 1,693
    and not your kind self you're talking about here, Fins.

    Beautiful lyric.
    Feels Good Inc.
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    I don't know who it's about, really. I made up a beat, and channelled these words from it.
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    :) It looks good.
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    All he hears is a pitter patter landing on galvanise
    Punching as hard as the tongues that flatter, killing a king with lies
    All he sees is the stabat mater, staring down from his wall
    Bearing as softly as tongues of water, a sun in his rise and fall

    Does he make himself clear?
    Does he make himself clear?
    He’s talking ‘bout his whole damn life here,
    It’d be good if he made himself clear.

    All he’s known is the thump and clatter of backhands across his eyes
    Reigning as hard as the belts that batter, scarring shins and thighs
    All he is, is a soul grown later, near his curtain call
    Singing too soft for he’s still to cater to those who made him stall

    Does he make himself clear?
    Does he make himself clear?
    He’s talking ‘bout his whole damn life here,
    It’d be good if he made himself clear.

    People say, why did you stay so long, living with what was wrong?
    All he can say is, “At least I die strong with these last words as my song.
    If they know well enough how to kick you down, then you’ll soon forget how to run,
    Staring through tears at the stabat mater, mourning her broken son.”


    Do I make myself clear?
    Do I make myself clear?
    I’m talking ‘bout a whole damn life here,
    It’d be good if I made myself clear.

    Do I make myself clear?
    Do I make myself clear?
    I’m talking ‘bout a whole damn life here,
    It’d be good if I made myself clear.
  • oldermanolderman Posts: 1,765
    great composition! i can actually hear the melody. sounds as much as a latin hymn, eh?
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Yep. The rhythm is old style dub reggae, funnily enough. I'm building it up slowly, and adding dub effects and drones. The lyrics are new. I'm really not sure where they came from, really. I had an idea for a short story but I cut the setting and the characters out. It seems punchier when you don't say who or what it's about. It feels more universal (hence Bu2 hoping it wasn't about me!).
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Oh, it occurred to me I fooked up another internal rhyme. That's what happens when you write something in ten minutes. It's fooked in some way or other.

    Here's the next tweak:


    All he hears is a pitter patter landing on galvanise
    Punching as hard as the tongues that flatter, killing a king with lies
    All he sees is the stabat mater, staring down from his wall
    Bearing as softly as tongues of water, a sun in his rise and fall

    Does he make himself clear?
    Does he make himself clear?
    He’s talking ‘bout his whole damn life here,
    It’d be good if he made himself clear.

    All he’s known is the thump and clatter of backhands across his eyes
    Reigning as hard as the belts that batter, scarring shins and thighs
    All he is, is a soul grown later, near his curtain call
    Singing too soft, for he’s still to cater to those who made him stall

    Does he make himself clear?
    Does he make himself clear?
    He’s talking ‘bout his whole damn life here,
    It’d be good if he made himself clear.

    People say, why did you stay so long, living with what was wrong?
    All he can say is, “At least I die strong with these last words as my song.
    If they know well enough how to kick you down, then you’ll soon forget how to run,
    Staring through tears at a mother’s frown, mourning her broken son.”

    Do I make myself clear?
    Do I make myself clear?
    I’m talking ‘bout a whole damn life here,
    It’d be good if I made myself clear.

    Do I make myself clear?
    Do I make myself clear?
    I’m talking ‘bout a whole damn life here,
    It’d be good if I made myself clear.





    Right. That'll do for now!
  • gue_bariumgue_barium Posts: 5,515
    "Stabat Mater is a thirteenth century Roman Catholic sequence attributed to Jacopone da Todi. Its title is an abbreviation of the first line, Stabat mater dolorosa ("The sorrowful mother was standing"). "

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stabat_Mater

    all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
    except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
  • kdpjamkdpjam Posts: 2,303
    Oh, it occurred to me I fooked up another internal rhyme. That's what happens when you write something in ten minutes. It's fooked in some way or other.

    Here's the next tweak:


    All he hears is a pitter patter landing on galvanise
    Punching as hard as the tongues that flatter, killing a king with lies
    All he sees is the stabat mater, staring down from his wall
    Bearing as softly as tongues of water, a sun in his rise and fall

    Does he make himself clear?
    Does he make himself clear?
    He’s talking ‘bout his whole damn life here,
    It’d be good if he made himself clear.

    All he’s known is the thump and clatter of backhands across his eyes
    Reigning as hard as the belts that batter, scarring shins and thighs
    All he is, is a soul grown later, near his curtain call
    Singing too soft, for he’s still to cater to those who made him stall

    Does he make himself clear?
    Does he make himself clear?
    He’s talking ‘bout his whole damn life here,
    It’d be good if he made himself clear.

    People say, why did you stay so long, living with what was wrong?
    All he can say is, “At least I die strong with these last words as my song.
    If they know well enough how to kick you down, then you’ll soon forget how to run,
    Staring through tears at a mother’s frown, mourning her broken son.”

    Do I make myself clear?
    Do I make myself clear?
    I’m talking ‘bout a whole damn life here,
    It’d be good if I made myself clear.

    Do I make myself clear?
    Do I make myself clear?
    I’m talking ‘bout a whole damn life here,
    It’d be good if I made myself clear.

    nice, fins. clear here! fooking serious!!!!
    lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
    ~it is shining it is shining~
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Still working on this. I got the whole song sorted in a short time, so now I'm having fun putting the layers together properly.
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Still working on it. Sometimes it takes longer to build space in a work of sound, than build layers.
  • Still HereStill Here Posts: 661
    I'd say it seems to be progressing nicely...cheers!

    :)
    PJ: Toledo-9/22/96. E. Lansing-8/18/98. Detroit-8/23/98. Detroit-10/7/00. Detroit-6/25 & 6/26/03. Toledo-10/2/04 [VFC]. Detroit-5/22/06. Chicago-8/5/07 [Lolla]. Cleveland-5/9/10. Baltimore-10/27/13.

    EV: Honolulu-4/21 & 4/22/07 [Kokua]. Detroit-6/26/11.
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    I'm enjoying doing it slowly. Thanks, Still Here. Good to see you.
  • Still HereStill Here Posts: 661
    Slowly but surely...the best way...
    nice to see you also Fins...I've been 'away' for a stint...
    PJ: Toledo-9/22/96. E. Lansing-8/18/98. Detroit-8/23/98. Detroit-10/7/00. Detroit-6/25 & 6/26/03. Toledo-10/2/04 [VFC]. Detroit-5/22/06. Chicago-8/5/07 [Lolla]. Cleveland-5/9/10. Baltimore-10/27/13.

    EV: Honolulu-4/21 & 4/22/07 [Kokua]. Detroit-6/26/11.
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