The Cruelty Of Peace

FinsburyParkCarrots

The more bereavement and loss you suffer, it's in those rare moments when you manage to return to yourself, such as in the first waking sense of day before your heart's remembrance of all griefs gone before, that you feel, in your life, the most quiet, indomitable calm.

Jamal

wow
this is rather deep & heavy

*re-reads*

did you come up with this yourself?

bravo man, bravo

FinsburyParkCarrots

Jamal wrote:

wow
this is rather deep & heavy

*re-reads*

did you come up with this yourself?

bravo man, bravo

Of course I did. I'm sparing with my little gems. They shine brighter, that way.

Jamal

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

Of course I did. I'm sparing with my little gems. They shine brighter, that way.

that they certainly do

Buru

that's beautiful finsy

FinsburyParkCarrots

It all just fucking sucks. One of my sisters has a nineteen year old ovarian cyst, and other lumps that have twisted her bowel. Non-one can operate on her until her infections go, and while in hospital, she picked up another bug. So, the hospital is saying, we might have to send her home until she's cool, so we can use her bed for someone else.

That's the National Health Service of Great Britain for you, in the year of 2007.

justam

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

It all just fucking sucks. One of my sisters has a nineteen year old ovarian cyst, and other lumps that have twisted her bowel. Non-one can operate on her until her infections go, and while in hospital, she picked up another bug. So, the hospital is saying, we might have to send her home until she's cool, so we can use her bed for someone else.

That's the National Health Service of Great Britain for you, in the year of 2007.

:( :(

Sorry to hear this.

FinsburyParkCarrots

Thanks, Justam.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Health_Service

Astral Star

So sorry to hear your sister is suffering. Sending love to you and your family.

"May the longtime sun shine upon you and all love surround you. May the Divine light within guide you way on"

reeferchief

Beautiful Fins, and my best wishes for you're sister hope everything turns out ok.

catefrances

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

The more bereavement and loss you suffer, it's in those rare moments when you manage to return to yourself, such as in the first waking sense of day before your heart's remembrance of all griefs gone before, that you feel, in your life, the most quiet, indomitable calm.

my nanna just died(she was almost 94) and though my reaction(or lack there of) somewhat perplexes me, i do feel a calmness. i think it's in knowing that my life will also end one day. and that is a day i hold no grudge against. though i'm not exactly holding my arms wide beckoning it closer either.

FinsburyParkCarrots

You know, she's at my folks' house and driving them bloody crackers, talking all the time from the couch. That woman has more life in her, half-dead, than the rest of us, put together. I'm half tempted to ask a doctor to go around there, and stitch her mouth up, until she goes back for the operation.

moreandmore

quiet, indomitable calm...

that's it. and, it's delicious.

nice piece, finsbury!

Jamal

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

You know, she's at my folks' house and driving them bloody crackers, talking all the time from the couch. That woman has more life in her, half-dead, than the rest of us, put together. I'm half tempted to ask a doctor to go around there, and stitch her mouth up, until she goes back for the operation.

that's not so nice

just stick her in an old folk's home, ... they love to talk anyways

But anyways, is there still a chance of her getting better soon?

FinsburyParkCarrots

Dunno. She has to take 35 tablets a day. We'll see.

FinsburyParkCarrots

The piece wasn't about her, though. Sorry for colouring interpretations. I was just venting.

catefrances

venting is good.
the negative balances the positive and makes us whole.

FinsburyParkCarrots

catefrances wrote:

venting is good.
the negative balances the positive and makes us whole.

Yeah, but my negative causes fucking meltdown.

catefrances

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

Yeah, but my negative causes fucking meltdown.

i could probably think of a trite aphorism, but i won't. i like my 'negative' side.

Jamal

catefrances wrote:

i could probably think of a trite aphorism, but i won't. i like my 'negative' side.

We all do
Don't ever change

FinsburyParkCarrots

Let your froth corrupted lungs cry out
rattlings of a cliched death, then rise up
like Eva Braun in paraffin, without
a fascist daddy lover boy to cup
you in the flames of eagle-circled bone embracings.
My half-Jew eyes, crow-eaten, know the tracings
of your lipgloss bunker mouthy pouts
and Axis fantasies of classic doom.
Wagnerian, drenched in the splashing gouts
of bluey blood, so masterful. This room,
this skull, this temple of my memory
is rooted like the long forgotten tree
near ashen pond flush, where my family
was drowned to make your deathly fantasy.

lucylespian

catefrances wrote:

my nanna just died(she was almost 94) and though my reaction(or lack there of) somewhat perplexes me, i do feel a calmness. i think it's in knowing that my life will also end one day. and that is a day i hold no grudge against. though i'm not exactly holding my arms wide beckoning it closer either.

Dear Cate, may I shed some light on your perplexity ?
There are 4 stages to the grieving process. Denial, anger, bargaining and acceptance.
The first 3 are stages of mental discomfort or unease.
Acceptance is the place where we find mental ease, or comfort.
When your Nana died at age 94, you moved easily to acceptance (which is not the same as approval), as is fitting as the circle closes.
So don't feel callous or unfeeling, you have just let it be about our Nana, and not about you. She is at peace and so are you !!

FinsburyParkCarrots

This place sucks.

yiorgis

Sorry to here about that,my name is George I
am from Greece.And i thought that we were the only country that we we have so much fucked up hospitals.I hope and i believe that your sister will find a solution to her health problem.Keep hope alive

Ms. Haiku

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

Let your froth corrupted lungs cry out
rattlings of a cliched death, then rise up
like Eva Braun in paraffin, without
a fascist daddy lover boy to cup
you in the flames of eagle-circled bone embracings.
My half-Jew eyes, crow-eaten, know the tracings
of your lipgloss bunker mouthy pouts
and Axis fantasies of classic doom.
Wagnerian, drenched in the splashing gouts
of bluey blood, so masterful. This room,
this skull, this temple of my memory
is rooted like the long forgotten tree
near ashen pond flush, where my family
was drowned to make your deathly fantasy.

See, this is the Fins I know. That earlier piece startled me. I didn't know if something was wrong. You wrote that your sister's illness was separate from that piece, but to change your writing style that much, I thought something awful must have happened. It's like changing your religion or something.

I hope your sister feels better, and gets better. . .


and that the doctor donates ear plugs for you and your family.

moreandmore

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

This place sucks.

a couple of pints
s'm smokes
an' elbows, eh?
smiles and isles, l'ev
smiles and isles

depopulationINC

FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:

Thanks, Justam.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Health_Service

interesting line....sorry to here about your sister