New song: "Far Flown"

FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
edited March 2007 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Another Kensington dawn: more shadows fall on the lawn.
Outside Jane's windowpane, her husband starts the growl of his car.
Now, East: the Bow Bells' sound, and Phelan starts to come 'round.
Beside him, Jenny stares him through, her distance ever more

Far flown lonely London birds, who never found the same wire
Far flown broken wings of dreams that barely had to go higher,
to find love.


Jane tries to make through the day. She finds a radio play.
But Oh!, that dialogue! How lacking all sense of Bizarre!
Phelan waits until one, when Jenny goes out alone:
He'll take the tube out of this zone today, go free and go

Far flown lonely London birds, who never found the same wire
Far flown broken wings of dreams that barely had to go higher,
to find love.


Jane takes a call from her son, then takes some air on the lawn.
The shadows circle like crows, each one a black omen star.
She knows that man on the road, heading near, shoulders broad:
He only passes by, head down, a fading memory of

Far flown lonely London birds, who never found the same wire
Far flown broken wings of dreams that barely had to go higher,
to find love.




___

(What happens in that song is that the word "Far" is the last word of each verse, and the first word of the chorus, so everything runs in together, if you get what I mean.)
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • oldermanolderman Posts: 1,765
    give it a bridge and it will be perfect.

    just my opinion, of course.

    good work richard, as per usual.
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    The bridge covers lines three and four of every verse. I'll complete my recording of this tomorrow, and you'll here. :)
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Hear, I mean. You'll be here, and hear.
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Oh, wait. You're right. I actually left out writing the middle eight! Okay, here's the whole thing:

    Another Kensington dawn: more shadows fall on the lawn.
    Outside Jane's windowpane, her husband starts the growl of his car.
    Now, East: the Bow Bells' sound, and Phelan starts to come 'round.
    Beside him, Jenny stares him through, her distance ever more ...

    Far flown lonely London birds, who never found the same wire
    Far flown broken wings of dreams that barely had to go higher,
    to find love.

    Jane tries to make through the day. She finds a radio play.
    But Oh!, that dialogue! How lacking all sense of Bizarre!
    Phelan waits until one, when Jenny goes out alone:
    He'll take the tube out of this zone today, go free and go ...

    Far flown lonely London birds, who never found the same wire
    Far flown broken wings of dreams that barely had to go higher,
    to find love.

    Bridge: Find love? How to find love, chasing at buses and trains?
    Find love? Out of a city of dead eyes and hollow remains?

    Jane takes a call from her son, then takes some air on the lawn.
    The shadows circle like crows, each one a black omen star.
    She knows that man on the road, heading near, shoulders broad:
    He only passes by, head down, a fading memory of ...

    Far flown lonely London birds, who never found the same wire
    Far flown broken wings of dreams that barely had to go higher,
    to find love.


    ___

    There we go. Well spotted! :)
  • oldermanolderman Posts: 1,765
    excellent!

    cheers! :D
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    I did write it down in hand, on A4 paper tonight, but I was only just typing it up now, and missed it out.

    You've a great musical ear, olderman! :)
  • kdpjamkdpjam Posts: 2,303
    hear hear !
    lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
    ~it is shining it is shining~
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    I've been up all fookin' night. Night!
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Okay, it's up on the demos page (second link in my sig).
  • kdpjamkdpjam Posts: 2,303
    i know. its awesome :)
    lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
    ~it is shining it is shining~
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    I like this one. :)
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
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