New song lyric: "Assembly of Birds"

FinsburyParkCarrots
FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
edited November 2007 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
I'll record it tomorrow. I just wrote it, now.

A white bark eucalyptus, jade in hazy petalled bloom
Held summer’s first assembly of songbirds, making room
In boughs and hollows, peaks and shallows, perching to keep ear
And learn the songbird prophet’s first predictions for the year.

“My feathered ones!”, this wise one chirped atop the albens crest,
“All nomad souls who seek the carve in bark, and not a nest:
We’ll wing our caged friends our minds together as a wave,
That they might free themselves and show each modern man a slave.”

“We’ll learn the human tongue and tell them who’s a pretty boy,
But soon we’ll speak the Word against their scientistic ploy.
We’ll see the squawking of each Dawkins stops, to hear our song
We’re taught in open flight, our maker crooning us along.”

“Hear this! We are a friend to man and yes, we might be meek and humble,
But when we speak the word of Soul, we make man’s boasts a mumble!
If man cuts down the trees for greed, then how can he ascend?
Come, teach this foolish ape the truth, and save him from his end.”

The songbird prophet bobbed his head, and all began to sing,
Each stretching one small leg aloft and lifting up a wing.
They made a cloud in thousands, swirling gold in midday air,
Making bold their prophet’s first predictions for the year.
Post edited by Unknown User on
«13

Comments

  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Edit: to preserve consistency of metre, line 13 is changed to:

    Hear this! We are a friend to man and yes, we’re meek and humble,
  • gue_barium
    gue_barium Posts: 5,515
    That would be tough to sing, I think. I dunno. Nice poem.
    all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
    except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    It works out okay, because it's in a slooooooow tempo. You can stretch out dem vowels. Cheers, justam and gue!
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    It works out okay, because it's in a slooooooow tempo. You can stretch out dem vowels. Cheers, justam and gue!

    Can't wait to hear it. :)
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    It's another acoustic-with-delay fest. Just gotta buy a new 9 volt battery in the morning!
  • Bu2
    Bu2 Posts: 1,693
    Fins! I likes that big time. Can't wait to hear the song played out.
    Feels Good Inc.
  • pickupyourwill
    pickupyourwill Posts: 3,135
    that's very beautiful , FPC (hope you don't mind that nickname). I like how it flows~~ and the whole notion of the birds saving the humans from themselves.

    it's poems and songs like this that remind me how amazingly talented y'all are on here.

    Cheers to all you beautiful writers!!

    I don't get on here often, but when I do, I really learn alot from y'all. Thank you, my mentors. :)
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Thanks! You can call me what you like! After all, my dad's affectionate name for me begins with a c, so any other nickname can't be too bad. :D
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Bu2 wrote:
    Fins! I likes that big time. Can't wait to hear the song played out.

    I've been working on this for the past twelve hours. It's about fifteen minutes long! Layers and layers and layers of layers. I'll try and put up a draft tomorrow. :)
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Okay, the basic backing tracks are up, as song two on

    http://www.myspace.com/finsburydemos


    The reason why there's not much happening for the first five minutes is, that's where the vocals and chordal guitar will live. Everything after that will stretch out!

    (Note for later: it'll probably be all done by the time you read this.)
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Okay, an mp3 of the home demo is up as the first link. It sounds much better as a WAV than as a streaming mp3 (300MB down to about 6MB!) , but hey, this desk isn't Abbey Road studios, so never mind. :D
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Here's a YouTube video of a short version of the song:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPjmQnc12Us


    If you want to hear the audio recording in better quality, you can get it at Megaupload, as a .wav file:

    http://www.megaupload.com/?d=H1HOA4FE

    (Warning: it's over 300MB.)
  • gue_barium
    gue_barium Posts: 5,515
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    Here's a YouTube video of a short version of the song:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPjmQnc12Us


    If you want to hear the audio recording in better quality, you can get it at Megaupload, as a .wav file:

    http://www.megaupload.com/?d=H1HOA4FE

    (Warning: it's over 300MB.)

    Change the word "prediction".

    "divination", maybe, for 3 syllables.

    or, for two syllables, maybe,
    "forecast".
    "omen" might even work, but that might change more than a word.

    i shall go hide now.
    all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
    except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
  • gue_barium
    gue_barium Posts: 5,515
    "divination" is 4 syllables.

    i screwed up.
    all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
    except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Er, how about "prediction", then. ;)

    Cheers, gue!
  • gue_barium
    gue_barium Posts: 5,515
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    Er, how about "prediction", then. ;)

    Cheers, gue!

    Cheers. I was wondering how you were to pull all that off in song after I first read the lyrics, and "prediction" was the only place I think I saw a weakness in the performance of said..pulling off of...it, the piece.

    I'll shut tfu now.
    all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
    except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Sometimes I pronounce my r's as w's, when I get carried away. That could be it. A Pwediction. ;)
  • gue_barium
    gue_barium Posts: 5,515
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    Sometimes I pronounce my r's as w's, when I get carried away. That could be it. A Pwediction. ;)

    "divination" is more vowelly. hehee.
    all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
    except by express written permission of ©gue_barium, the author.
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    I'll try divination, a four-syllabler, rather than first prediction, the first time I do it in front of an audience, mate! :)


    Now, I've completely remixed the song again, with all the levels low. It no longer distorts in the wrong places.

    I've deleted the Megaupload .wav and will put up a new one, soon.
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Okay, the new link is:

    http://www.megaupload.com/?d=AQM7BTOE


    To download the file, type in the three letter code to the left of the download box, in the box.

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