Some wordy shite

FinsburyParkCarrots
FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
edited July 2007 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Ox-bow lake, calf bestraddled,
evidencing juncus, nardus, festuca,
red and turgid rivulets.

Bogflood.

You were the fort of pine for the Burkes
in Grace's castle, embayed,
when La Rata Encoronada ran aground,
that September.

Wahlenbergia hederacea,
Salix atrocinerea,
these exotic strands bent to river oblivion
are de Leiva's men,
camped in the Doona wood
awaiting the Santa Ana
and passage to an Antrim drowning
Away from Lucan's cull.

The woods are down, the plains are flooded,
La Rata is seen at low tide
In shifting sand
Two hundred yards out now
and the black red ditches here
bleed young men hacked before ship sail
by Bingham's sword

(ambitious courtly steel
For Faery Queene Cynthia,
Custodian of souls).

Bogflood, tideblood.
All about Jack Daly's grazing lands.
And the waters past Blackrock
swirl, dead glutted to the North.

Fahy. It means a playing field.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    It's about a massacre, without the cheap signposts.
  • westsidepie
    westsidepie Posts: 627
    I really like the middle-earth quality of the descriptions. At once distant, and yet like a mote in one's brain disturbingly familiar. Nice work!
    To pie I will reply
    But mr. justam
    is who I am

    "That's a repulsive combination of horrible information and bad breath."-Pickles

    "Remember, death is a natural part of the workplace. So, when you see a dead body at work, don't freak out, just ring your death bell." "ting"-Toki Wartooth
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    somehow, this manages to not seem like a masturbatory exercise in verbosity. which is saying something, since most of these words were foreign to me.
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • DopeBeastie
    DopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    there are some poems that dictionaries and thesauri cannot help

    you know a lotta stuff, there finsy. you're like a library
  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    dude, you are quite something.
    as Pasta stated earlier about a dictionary, thesauri
    can not be of any help with writing like this
    i am now thumbing thru my public library,
    oh yea, wait, im not there yet, where is my car keys?
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Jeremy1012 wrote:
    somehow, this manages to not seem like a masturbatory exercise in verbosity. which is saying something, since most of these words were foreign to me.

    Unlike a clitcocked, fumbling admission of inarticulate drool, which is the fare of the vast majority of teenage internet poetasting, then?

    It's a poem about the murder of some of my direct ancestors. I deliberately use the clinical, botanical talk of academia to demonstrate the ironic disparity between the language of late Elizabethan/early Jacobean England, of Baconite advancements in learning, and the unspeakable reality of that which it preyed upon as plunder.


    But then, I guess, the brain dead shit that constitutes American beat poetry, as subtle as a wank in a deaf pensioner's ear to make him hear he's being robbed, is the fare of the day.
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Ahhh, sorry, Jamie. Just venting at everyone and no-one.
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    chadwick wrote:
    dude, you are quite something.
    as Pasta stated earlier about a dictionary, thesauri
    can not be of any help with writing like this
    i am now thumbing thru my public library,
    oh yea, wait, im not there yet, where is my car keys?

    Does it communicate before it's understood? Most stuff I read on the internet works the other way around. It's understood, because there's no deep thought there. Then you have to read through the bad lexis and syntax, to hope there's a bit more substance there. Usually, there isn't.
  • Jeremy1012
    Jeremy1012 Posts: 7,170
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    Ahhh, sorry, Jamie. Just venting at everyone and no-one.
    Fins, I said it DOESN'T come across as masturbatory :D

    bad day?
    "I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead, I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land — every colour, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike — all snored in the same language"
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Good day, but I'm Irish, and sometimes I just love a fight. ;)

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