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Summer Rain

AliAli Posts: 2,621
edited August 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
In the summer rain,
we danced.
Pulsating.
It fell upon my lips
as the droplets
smeared my mascara
and your body
forced the redness,
pink.
All the water in the sky
could not put out the fire
of youth's sexed glow-
and all the fire
in the heat of passion,
could not stop Summer
from melting it all away.
Winter will soon be here,
and the chill will fall
upon my bones
as Summer's rain
turns to
Winter's snow.
A whisper and a thrill
A whisper and a chill
adv2005

"Why do I bother?"
The 11th Commandment.
"Whatever"

PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • TooMuchBloodTooMuchBlood Posts: 312
    Love this poem, Ali! It sends a thousand images to my head.
  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    Very nice, Ali! :) I particularily liked how you said:

    "In the summer rain,
    we danced.
    Pulsating."

    That's such a cool image--the bodies pulsating just as the rain that beats upon thier skin--yeah, I really, really dig that! :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    "youth's sexed glow"

    friggen awesome!!

    another winner ali!!
    .........................................................................
  • Gentrovo KolyovaGentrovo Kolyova Posts: 11
    You have nice imagery in your words. Also, there is a profound word rhythm scheme. Good job.
    Quiet Patriot for the World's Revolution
  • Righteous JammerRighteous Jammer Posts: 509
    Pure beauty, Ali....Pure beauty.....
    It doesnt hurt.... when I bleed
    but memories...they eat me
    I've seen it all before,...
    bring it on cause I'm no victim.
    -Ghost
  • Gallant88Gallant88 Posts: 58
    wow.. you are so very damn good.
    September 22, 2005 - Halifax.. ahhh
    .
    ..
    ...
    ..
    .
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    Thank Y' all;):)Very much:)

    I jsut have this memory of an ex-boyfriend....sitting in his Firebird in the heat of summer just kissing as the rain hit the roof of the car and our bodies as we got out and danced.
    And the end kind of...the change of season,the change of men in the relationship.
    I dont know...call me crazy,
    but thanks for the inspiration guys!!!!!!without you I would be nothing and as inspired as a walnut.:)

    ali:)
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • kdpjamkdpjam Posts: 2,303
    in the summer rain we danced. love it.
    lay down all thoughts; surrender to the void
    ~it is shining it is shining~
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    Thanks Kd...it is the truth...:)
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • NothingbetterNothingbetter Posts: 570
    Wow, so romantic....and sexy :)
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    EV - St. Louis 7/1/11 ** Tulsa 11/19/12
  • lovin kindlovin kind Posts: 268
    for cold rain

    rain is good in any form but the beginning of winter rain is my favorite season
    with a football season with my friggen blue lions

    aint nothin like a bad group of blue lions
    thanks to everyone who can read what i write without having to say something mean
  • trappedinmyradiotrappedinmyradio Posts: 1,189
    was there music? if so, what was it? music in your head?

    i personally like van morrison's greatest hits...
    I'll dig a tunnel
    from my window to yours
  • trappedinmyradiotrappedinmyradio Posts: 1,189
    it's almost like a one summer day stand - something to tide over the narrator - something to escape from loneliness - only to be driven back into the cold, dreary reality that is tomorrow...

    it's fast, then slow...my mind races with imagery and feelings and then stops...like a train...and then the train starts moving again...out of the depot...and i lose it...

    i like it...
    I'll dig a tunnel
    from my window to yours
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    trappedinmyradio wrote:
    it's almost like a one summer day stand - something to tide over the narrator - something to escape from loneliness - only to be driven back into the cold, dreary reality that is tomorrow...

    it's fast, then slow...my mind races with imagery and feelings and then stops...like a train...and then the train starts moving again...out of the depot...and i lose it...

    i like it...
    Thank you Trapped....
    I'm glad that you understand exactly what I'm trying to portray:)
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
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