thought #

catefrances

drinking too much seems not to work for her anymore. now she doubts it ever did. these past weeks she's been trying to...do what? she doesnt even know. she made a false step and lost a friend. she resigned herself to that absence. and now she is faced with the return of another and she hates it. she doesnt think she can cope. so many weeks she'd built a wall around herself, safe from any encrouchment. and now this intrusion. no. no. she cant do it. he shouldnt ask this of her. tis not fair. she was left alone when she needed help. left to deal with so much bullshit on her own. and now...and now...what? all the feelings she felt before rise to the surface and she wants more than he can give her. why did he come back? why couldn't he leave her be? he was so angry through no fault of hers. she thought fuck him and turned her back. it was all she could do to maintain what little sanity she had left... she had so much to tell him, but he shut her out and shut her down. and now because he can no longer keep his distance she is forced to deal. no...no...she cant cope.