nothing at all

catefrances

if i didn't feel so bad
i'd feel nothing at all
and the scratches up my arms
make me sure of which way i'm going
there's nothing in my life that you'd call joy
and nothing i feel would cut it
i wouldn't call it negative
cause surely some good will come of it
i tell myself that every day
the day will come
the cloud will be lifted
my blood will run warm
not cold with disgust for myself
i accept the blame
but you can bet its no consolation
everything has its time i know
and the cycle continues
falling across my heart
crushing the spirit
struggling for breath
but i do not fear death
and at depths so low
i welcome its embrace
but not today
not today.