ssshh

catefrances

out of despair
unable to do anything else
but join you
falling so far
too deep to crawl from this abyss
howling and crying
punching holes in the wall
anger rises
dissipates
reach out with fingertips
to touch warm skin
feel loves caress
for pity's sake
many times
i let myself fall
for love
i thought
dark halls
where i wander
offer nothing
but anguish
pain
self loathing
i doubt myself
look to you for guidance
supine
in your own world
the bruises on your body
the cuts on your arms
did you do that
did i
there's just no memory
close my eyes
search my blank mind
sit down and think
confused
thinking refused
i smell you on my skin
i should remember
you close enough to leave your scent
but no
nothing
my head aches
my skin crawls
my hands shake
it's not cold
but i am
too tired to think
my eyes wide open
i crawl to you
mould my body to yours
breathe you in
my cheek against your shoulder
an empty shell
no movement
close my eyes
sleep
ssshh sleep.