i wonder

catefrances

every time you walk out the front door
i wonder when you'll be back
i wonder if i'll see you again at all
i'm at my wits end
i don't know what to do
i don't know what to say to you
sometimes i wish i could just walk away
it's not like we even had a fight
not even exchanged harsh words
i give you everything you want
you're never denied
but i just don't get what's inside your head
why you think it's okay to leave me hanging
when you're home
you act as if nothing's wrong
as if everything's okay
but obviously it's not
sometimes you're gone for days
it hurts to know you don't give a fuck
enough to even phone
a call to let me know that you're alive
that you're still breathing
while i'm at home dying inside alone.

justam

:( That sounds so difficult! :(

catefrances

i wrote it one night when my daughter didn't come home.

justam

catefrances wrote:

i wrote it one night when my daughter didn't come home.

Did you ask her about it later? Let her know how you felt?

violet ray

ooh, glad those days are over...

this must be really difficult with a child.

Being Enlightened

catefrances wrote:

i wrote it one night when my daughter didn't come home.

Aww, jeez! Well, if she's a teenager, I'd have to say, don't take it personally. Teens can be so confusing because often times, they're just confused too. Confused and trying to find out who they are, trying to be a separate being (that certainly doesn't want their parents getting in their business--heaven forbid! ) and sometimes getting mixed up with the wrong people and sometimes doing the wrong things and learning hard lessons....gah! I don't think it's that they don't care, I think they're just trying to prove they're all grown up.

They'll never really understand what their inconsiderate actions do to their parents until they become parents themselves or see what other parents go through. All you can do is keep loving them, as much as they may break your heart, just let them know you love them. Even if there's lots of arguing, if they know that you keep loving them, eventually, they grow out of the "confused" stage and will appreciate that you stuck by them.

Good luck, catefrances! A very nice, heartfelt poem. Hmmm, maybe you might even consider sharing it with your daughter. Maybe she will feel what it's like to see things through your eyes for a minute.

catefrances

oh yes justam i told my daughter how i felt on every occasion that she pulled this stunt. and even before, because her father used to pull the same stunt. i repeatedly shared my opinion that i too wish i could just walk out the front door. that i too could do with some breathing space. all i ever asked for was consideration. i'm not one of the "ogre" parents that does not give their children any room to grow. i don't keep them on a tight leash. in fact i don't keep them, on a leash at all. the rules are: tell me were you're going, don't take any man made drugs and call if you are not coming home.
i know, having been one myself, that being a teenager is a time of confusion and growth and i accept that. but what i don't accept is that this child that i know is so totally self absorbed that she can't pick up the phone and just let me know. it's obvious that she is at times but i will never accept it. live with it yes.accept it, no.
i have told her that when she doesn't come home or answer her mobile, my first thought is that she is dead. i know that may sound dramatic,my children certainly think that, but believe me when your child disappears for days on end with no excuse or explanation other than i was at a friends, it can test even the patience of the Buddha.
you know you try and let them lead their own lives and be there to catch them when they fall. but as a parent i can not help but think the worst will happen to my child. it's not what they will do, it's what can be done too them.

twin1

Oh how I dread the approaching teenage years for my daughter...how disturbing...I just pray that I can teach and prepare her enough to be wise even if she does not feel like it and stand back and hold my breath with an unconditional love and an ear if she ever wants to talk...