what you are

catefrances

what you see is not always what you see
you got your eyes wide open but your mind is fully closed
it's easier just to deny and lie to yourself
then it is to step into the unknown and take a risk

what you are is not always what you are
cause sometimes you pretend to be someone other than yourself
it's easier just to deny and lie to everyone
than exposed your real self and be rejected

for something that you're not
for something that you never will be
for something that you want
for something that you can't ever achieve

pickupyourwill

wow. don't know who its about (got some ideas though ) how is this person pretending? what would stepping into the unknown be referring to?--intense poem. sounds like you have alot of anger towards this person.

catefrances

the person is me.

pickupyourwill

don't be so hard on yourself--you seem like you're always keepin it real to me what are you trying to achieve? what is this "unknown" you are afraid of stepping into?

catefrances

how would you know if i was keeping it real?


the unknown is life itself.
divesting myself of contradictions and expectations in deciding what is best for me and my life. how i can live my life to the best of my abilities and how far i can go without selling my soul.
i'm not being hard on myself. it's just that, i am the only person i have to live with. everyone else can move away and decide to have nothing to do with me. or i can decide to distance myself from people. but in the end the only person with me, will be me. so to live my life, i have to be true to myself, no one else.

kdpjam

i like your writing, cate...

catefrances

and i like that you like my writing

pickupyourwill

yes, being in that comfort zone, that peaceful vaccum (where judgements can't find you and mistakes can't ever be made) is nice--comatose but misery loves company also. and everybody else is probably just as miserable as you are--you are not alone. we're all in this thing called life together--don't ever forget that.

if you're single, look on the bright side and live it up--go dancing, go karaoking, laugh hysterically,have a craaazy time! get drunk as a skunk--(but don't become a raging alcoholic please I make a fool of myself everyday but its worth it!!---wasted tooo much of my life away in depression, self doubt, and worry.--- and if you're married you can do all of the above as well.

cheers!

pickupyourwill

sending out love to cate

~~peace~~

catefrances

pickupyourwill wrote:

yes, being in that comfort zone, that peaceful vaccum (where judgements can't find you and mistakes can't ever be made) is nice--comatose but misery loves company also. and everybody else is probably just as miserable as you are--you are not alone. we're all in this thing called life together--don't ever forget that.

if you're single, look on the bright side and live it up--go dancing, go karaoking, laugh hysterically,have a craaazy time! get drunk as a skunk--(but don't become a raging alcoholic please I make a fool of myself everyday but its worth it!!---wasted tooo much of my life away in depression, self doubt, and worry.--- and if you're married you can do all of the above as well.

cheers!

no. there will be no living in a comfort zone. that's not what i want. it's about having the cajones to do what i want to do. that's what i want. and i'm getting there. it's not about not wanting people around but having people around that respect me enough to give me that distance. if you know what i mean. i can be a tad misanthropic at times and people don't get that. they think i'm weird. and while at times i'll admit by society's standards i can be weird, it annoys me that those judgements are being made.
there will be no dancing. though seeing bands live is my life's blood. and you know what? even in a room full of people i still can manage to feel alone. and i like that feeling.