may 23rd

catefrances

i spent 24 years running away from myself
and i just couldn't run any faster
so i stopped and i bled
and it finally all felt good.
the sun came up and found me wanting
but for what i couldn't say
the drugs i took had fucked me over
and now there wasn't anyone left to blame.
so if today is the first day of the rest of my life
does that mean only yesterday
i was dead to the world or just dead inside myself?
and if yesterday was the last day of a life now gone
am i lying on my funeral pyre
or is this world now my grave?

so was everything i did and every drug i took worth the time i lost?
you bet it was
cause if i'd done it any other way
i would have been dead long before today
i don't need nobody to tell me what is was that i'd done
i was there i should know
as if i could ever forget
my baby in bed beside me dead

they told me i had to learn to give and wait my turn
i have no patience to wait for the world to catch up to me
i've been living my life twice as hard and fast
and only now you all are coming up by my side
if you ask me again was it all worth it
i'd look you straight in the eye and tell you damn right it was
life's too short for it to be a level playing field
and if you've got to stop and step out of the line to get your prize
then that's fine by me, that's what i did.

still breathing not second guessing anyone
still breathing wearing second hand clothes
still breathing though i miss my baby so
still breathing it ain't ever gonna be any other way

but the sun goes down and i'm still wanting for something
though i just can't say what for.