foreva: something i found squiralled away.

catefrances

By the light of four candles Polidori Smith was dancing in the centre of the small room to his half - drunken half - dreaming audience. Grave and grotesque, in a melancholy whirlpool, he revolved and undulated in his dance, and his brother shadows, and shadows of shadows, danced about him. Despite his revelry, he thought he glimpsed her, but then she was lost to him. The music got louder and he forgot what he was looking for. Oh! there she is. She wasn’t watching him. She was talking to someone, their heads leaning in close sharing some conspiratorial secret. He smiled anyway. Just knowing she was there was enough for him. It gave him comfort to see her. To know that she was there for him. He needed the comfort of her presence. His head spun and he wanted to sit down. But he knew if he stopped dancing at that particular moment, he would topple over. Then the music stopped, and Polidorio and his shadows melted into the crowd.

didyouseeEvawereyouwatchingisawyouyouwerentwatching.

All his words ran into one, both with exhaustion and the thrill of him being near her.

I saw Poli, I saw. It was wonderful.

The beaming smile on his face told Eva she’d said the right thing. Sometimes she wasn’t too sure. There were moods, his and hers. There was always words, and sometimes there were fights.
Poli rested his hand on Eva’s hip and leant in to smell her neck. She never wore perfume and washed herself with sandalwood soap. He loved to breathe in her scent, just the soap and her body. It gave him comfort. She gave him comfort. Everything about her gave him comfort. He needed that. With his racing mind, he needed everything she could give him. Eva placed her hand on his arm.

You need to settle down.

He looked into her eyes. She stared back into the brownest eyes she’d ever seen.

I want to go can’t we go.

We will, but not just yet.

But you’re here for me and here I am.

Eva knew why he was so eager to leave. Whenever he drank, all he wanted to do was fuck. And he drank a lot. She didn’t mind. She knew the reward came when he was sober and he took his time, and no part of her body went untouched. Truth be told, Eva liked it when they just got down to it and not much thought was involved. She smiled languidly and touched her lips to his brow.

I promised Layla I would stay until the end.

Polidorio sighed and pouted like a petulant five year old. Eva continued,

She doesn’t want to be alone when Nikko shows up.

You think he will?

You tell me, he’s your brother. Have you seen him lately?

Eva looked into Poli eyes closely to see if he was telling the truth. His left eye twitched almost imperceptibly when he lied, in fact even when all he did was think about lying. He used to lie a lot in the beginning, when he didn’t know Eva and wasn’t too sure of himself. Now, they’d been together so long, the pretense he put up to protect himself, was no longer necessary.

He called yesterday.

Eva waited for him to continue.

I was pretty out of it. He hesitated.

Eva jumped in.

What Poli?

I invited him here, tonight.

Why would you do that?

I told you I was out of it.

He stepped back as if Eve had slapped him.

He is my brother you know.

I know. She sighed. What’s done is done.

Can we go home now?

Eva smiled. Let me go get Layla.

Poli watched as Eva disappeared into the crowd. Scanning the people he saw her talking to Layla. A short time later, the two women approached him. He seemed lost in thought until Eva took his hand. Then he registered her presence and greeted his sister-in-law.

I guess you’re coming home with us.

Only for tonight.

Stay as long as you need. Though it might get a little noisy.

Eva rolled her eyes in mock embarassment. She envied the ease with which Poli said anything that came to his mind. She’d been raised in a strict household, by a domineering father and mostly absent mother. He died when she was thirteen. Her mother didn’t know what to do with a teenage girl, so Eva was sent to live with her aunt. Hannah gave Eva a lot of leeway and she used it all. After many scrapes with the local police and too many wasted nights, Eva settled down. She finished school, left Hannah’s sleepy beach hamlet for the city. Enrolled in university and met Polidorio.


....tbc.

catefrances

As they reached the fence outside, Nikko appeared as if out of nowhere. He was a stealthy bastard. It was one of many traits that alienated him from others. Many was the time when Poli would be lying in the backyard staring at the stars or walking along the street and Nikko would materalise and scare the bejesus out of his younger brother. He only ever appeared when he needed something. Whether it was money or food or somewhere to lay low until whatever storm he was in the middle of blew away. It amused him to watch Poli’s reaction to the sound of his voice. But that was then, and now Poli was never amused to see his brother. When she saw him, Layla instinctly stepped back, half sheltering her body behind Poli.

Interesting threesome. Where are you all off to?

Going home what about you?

You’re an idiot Polidorio. You invited me here.

I didn’t think you’d show

So, what? You were doing your family duty or something?

I was stoned

I’m just feeling the love here.

From somewhere, Layla got up the courage she knew she’d come to regret later.

Just leave Nikko no one wants you here.

What do you care? You’re leaving.

As Nikko took a step towards Layla, Polidorio blocked his way. Nikko looked at him, sizing up the threat.

You’re really going to come between me and my woman?

I’m not your woman

You’re carrying my child aren’t you?

So what

That makes you my woman

No. That makes you my mistake.

Layla wasn’t sure she meant it, but she couldn’t take it back. She was angry at herself and at Nikko. And she was tired of the life she was leading. She knew it’d hurt Nikko to hear what she said. And it did. He looked at her deflated and put his hands up in surrender.

I’m going. I’m going.

We just don’t want any trouble.

Is that all I am to you? Trouble.

Nikko didn’t wait for the answer he didn’t want to hear. He turned on his heel and walked away. Eva looked at Layla. She could tell she was having second thoughts about what she’d said to Nikko. Eva touched her elbow.

Whatever you’re thinking Layla, let it go.

I do miss him you know.

I know.

Let’s go back in for a little while.

Eva noted the dejected look on Poli’s face. She pulled him to her.

Do this for me

And what do I get?

Me, for the rest of the night after that.

A smile broke out on Polidorio’s face. He kissed Eva’s forehead, her nose and her lips and started dancing around her, his arms extended over his head. Bending his body like a snake writhing b y the side of the road, he was already lost in thought.
In quieter moments, that’s how Eva remembered Poli. Dancing to music nobody else heard. Rather than how a lot of other people saw him – a skinny pallid youth with a Mick Jagger haircut and a bag of brown in his pocket.

Look mummy

Eva’s reflective mood was broken. She looked up and into Poli’s brown eyes. Jenna was almost five and got lost in the same secret rhythms her father did. Eva smiled and watched as her daughter twisted and spun, her arms up stretched to capture the sunlight on a cool, crisp May morning.


************************


Unsurprisingly, when Eva woke up the next morning, Poli was still asleep. She couldn’t ever remember a time when he woke before her. There were times when he didn’t sleep. But never a time when he lay in bed watching her sleep. Eva climbed out of bed and padded down the hall barefoot to the toilet. When she finished, she didn’t flush. She didn’t want to wake Poli.
Downstairs she found Layla sitting in the morning sun, nursing a mug of coffee. When Eva touched her shoulder. Layla jumped, spilling coffee on herself.

Shit

Layla wiped her skirt, then looked at Eva.

Poli still asleep?

Yeah

Eva sat down next to Layla.

Where were you then?

Layla sighed.

Nikko

You’ve got to let him go Layla

I know that. I need him

No you don’t.

Layla stood up resting her hand on her belly.

What would you know Eva? You have a man. I am alone with this child.

You are not alone. We are here for you.

Come on Eva, you can’t give me what I want. What I need.

And you think you need Nikko?

Yes yes I do. And God knows I want him.

Even after what he’s done to you?

Layla turned to Eva. And Poli’s never hit you Eva.

We’re not talking about me and Poli

And we’re not talking about me and Nikko either.

With that, Layla turned and walked into the house. Eva let her be. She knew her friend was right. Poli would never leave her. She doubted she could get rid of him if she tried. Not that she would try.
Eva heard the front door shut.

catefrances

Nikko watched Layla walk down the street away from him. He followed. He didn’t approach her, but made sure she saw him. He knew she’d come to him. Either he was extremely confident or arrogant. With Nikko there really was no difference. He knew Layla better than she knew herself. Or at least he liked to think so. When she entered a shop, he leant against a tree across the street waiting.
She came out of the shop carrying the newspaper. When Layla looked up and saw Nikko, she didn’t hesitate. She crossed the street. Digging into her pocket, and pulling out a packet of cigarettes, she threw them at Nikko, hitting him in the chest.

Think I didn’t know you were there?

No flies on you, is there? Nikko smirked.

Fuck off Nikko, I’m not in the mood.

Nikko ripped the plastic wrapper off the cigarette packet. He crushed it up and threw it on the ground. Layla looked at him. He bent down, picked the wrapper up and pocketed it. He tapped the side of the packet until a cigarette came out far enough for him to grab. He put it in his mouth and lit it with a zippo. He took a long drag on it, holding it in for a few seconds, looking at Layla before he blew the smoke out his nose.

Then what are you doing here?

I’m beginning to wonder that myself.

With that Layla started to walk away. Nikko reached out and grabbed her. She just looked at him. He took his hand off her.

Come home with me Layla

Why?

Because I want you to.

That’s hardly a reason

I love you

You don’t love me. You’re in love with the concept. Nothing more.

How can you say that?

It’s true.

Nikko looked down at his foot drawing patterns in the dirt.

You hurt me Nikko

I know

I can’t let you hurt me anymore. It’s not just me now.

I know that Layla.

Do you?

Yes I do

When Nikko reached out to touch her again, Layla stepped back. When she realised what he wanted, she stopped; and taking his hand laid it on her belly.

I want to be there for the baby.

And me Nikko. Will you be there for me?


Boldly, Nikko rested his other hand on Layla’s neck and leant in to kiss her. Much to his surprise, she didn’t pull away. A tear rolled down her check. Nikko wiped it away with his thumb.

Eva was less than thrilled when Layla told her that she was going home with Nikko. Even less so when she saw the smirk on his face. She knew he thought she was an uptight bitch. Nikko didn’t like Eva because he thought she thought she was better than him. She didn’t. Eva hardly thought of Nikko at all. Except of course when Layla came to her and Poli in tears, swearing she was through with him. Eva lost count of the times Layla had occupied the spare bedroom.
Poli wasn’t much help this morning. At the sound of a male voice, he stumbled downstairs wearing only pyjama bottoms, yawning and scratching his head. He acknowledged his brother with a nod, and then did a double take.

What are you doing here man?

I’ve come for Layla.

She came here to get away from you.

Poli. It’s okay.

Poli looked at Layla and then Eva. The look on his face told Eva that he wasn’t totally compis. Layla left the room and Nikko followed. Poli shrugged and went to the fridge for a drink.
After drinking straight out of the carton, he replaced it and went to Eva. When he tried to kiss her, she shied away. He looked at her.

Thanks for the help Poli.

What did you want me to do Eva?

You could’ve asked Nikko to leave.

I’m not getting between my brother and his wife.

Excuse me? Why the hell did you bother standing up to him last night then?

Poli sighed. He reached out and took Eva’s hand in his. She let him.

You can’t live Layla’s life for her. If she wants to go back to Nikko then we have to let her be.

He’s your brother. You know what he’s like.

That’s right Eva, he is my brother. Don’t ask me to totally give up on him.

Eva pulled her hand away and left the room.

catefrances

Poli found her in their bedroom. She was lying on the bed. Her arms stretched above her head. Poli knelt in front of her resting his hands on her thighs.

Can we not fight about Layla and Nikko?

Eva sat up.

What do you want to fight about then?

I don’t want to fight at all.

Knowing the answer to the next question before she asked it, Eva asked it anyway.

What do you want to do then?

Get stoned and fuck all day.

I don’t want to get stoned.

Poli kissed Eva’s leg.

So you just want to fuck

Is that all you think about?

No

What else do you think about then?

He kissed Eva’s thigh again.

I think about getting stoned.

Eva took Poli’s face in her hands, and bending over, kissed his lips. Poli took this as consent. He stood up and pulled Eva to her feet. He kissed her again and undid the buttons of her dress. He noted with some pleasure that she naked underneath. He rested his hand momentarily on her breast before drawing it down her body. When she felt his hand between her legs, Eva let out a little gasp. She and Poli were the same height, so they look into each other’s eyes on a level. It gave kisses in public an extra meaning. Lovers were usually only eye to eye in bed. When she tried to kiss him Poli moved out of her reach. It wasn’t until she grabbed him that he let her kiss him. Poli smiled. His hand was still caught between Eva’s legs.

You want me to keep going?

Yes

You sure?

All Eva could do beside bite her lip, was nod.

Tell me what you want me to do Eva.

She closed her eyes, and Poli felt the muscles in her thighs tighten.

Tell me Eva.

She kept silent.

Eva?

She felt his teeth on her shoulder. Still she said nothing.

So you’re leaving it up to me huh? Okay. But I don’t want to hear you begging me to stop.

Eva opened her eyes and smiled.

You talk a lot for someone’s who’s meant to be fucking.

You’re a bitch.

I just wanted to see what you’d do

I should just leave you to get yourself off

You wouldn’t do that

Wouldn’t I?

No babe. You’d at least stay in the room and watch me

Poli sighed. Eva pulled him onto the bed and wrapped her legs around his hips. As he kissed her body, Eva ran her nails up his back.

Eva that hurts.

She ignored him, closed her eyes and stretched her arms out on the bed behind her head. She arched her back and pulled Poli closer to her with her legs. As her breathing got slower, Poli slowed down to keep pace with her. She tried to bite him a couple of times, but he pulled out of her reach. When she managed to kiss his lips, Eva couldn’t resist biting his bottom lip. Usually he didn’t mind and went along with anything Eva wanted, but this morning he was sure she was just doing it to hurt him.

Eva stop it.

Eva pushed Poli off her. She stood up and walked out of the room. Poli didn’t follow her. He just shrugged and put it down to one of her moods. When she returned, she was wrapped in a robe. She leant against the door. He looked at her.

What?

We need to talk.