not sure what this is.

catefrances

plus...i've been drinking for the past five nights.
if you knew me you'd understand...
or...
maybe not.
thoughts crowd in and try to smother me
i think up ways to beat them back
but nothing ever works
i try to find distractions but they're not
and...
... i'm not true so...
they don't work.
i try to shut things out
but...
the key is in the lock.
i reckon i left it there on purpose
so someone could come save me
but there's no one who really wants to
so i guess i'm on my own.
apparently i have moods
that he told me he can't handle
when i heard him say those words
i thought fuck you, you've never really met them
i'm such a psycho bitch sometimes
and i kept that hidden from him
and now i feel her rising up
and i do all i can to ignore her.
like i said i've been drinking
for the past five nights...
and then some
and i wonder if i ever could...
if i disappeared who would really miss me
ah yes a selfish thought from a selfish kind of girl
i haven't got the strength
to challenge anything she says
i wake up in the morning in my self imposed booze haze
and she's lying right bedside me
laughing and slowly digging my own grave.
i laugh at her cause i'm stronger
i fool myself with that
but i know when i'm not watching
she'd feed me to the cats
i know i'm not so bad off
so what the hell is wrong with me?
i look into the mirror
and all i see laughing back at me
is a sad pathetic excuse for a person
whose lies will surely cover
her name in recriminations, hypocrisy
and love found much too late
hey!!!
pour me another drink will you
so i can drift away.

Brainofdz

I know you realize things are never as bad as we build them up to be in our heads.
Heavy Boozing usually doesn't help either.
At best, it's the solution to it's own problem.
For a long time I drank nearly every night.
Now, I try to keep it to 2 nights a week.(try)
I barely know you, but you seem wonderfull.
Only your own recognition of this fact will allow you to move foward and pursue true fullfillment,(like I really know, but hey, sounds good in theory)