freeway

catefrances

she drives into the oncoming darkness. the needle on the speedo climbs higher. the red lights of the cars she passes become white dots in her rear view mirror until they fade intot he distance. the disregard she shows for her own life and thsoe around her is not something she thinks about. it has long since stopped raining but she can barely see the road in front of her. tears cloud her vision and she no longer cares. she thinks about getting home to an empty house. she smiles knowing it will be days before they find her. at first they will think she is sleeping. but when they can not rouse her, they'll realise their mistake. they will not understand. not then. but one day when they stop cursing her for her actions, perhaps they will.

catefrances

she tries to let go, but she can't. she knows there's something not done that needs to be. every morning she wakes with a feeling. an invisible presence that doesn't smother her, but holds her close. everywhere she goes, it follows. every thought she has, it clouds. it's waiting. waiting for her to understand. but she doesn't. all she feels is the spectre. tis like another shadow that follows her, even in the shade. and at night it sleeps within her. it won't leave her alone and she wonders if it ever will. she can feel it against her skin. she can feel it tapping on her skull. she can hear it mocking her as she struggles to define it. it hopes she never does cause if that happens, she will know how to control it. or worse yet, to be rid of it.

catefrances

she is driving herself crazy. and by doing so she knows she's driving him that way too. he doesnt say as much. he just tells her to relax. that this isnt life and death. she knows he's right. but it is her life. she tries to breathe. but there is something inside of her that won't let her be. it mocks her. for her stupidity and for her lack of judgement. she can't make a decision and she realises the way she is toward him, the way she feels the need to tell him every little thing and thought and feeling that she has, is her, perhaps not so, subconscious way to get him to leave. she doesn't want him to, but she figures if she pushes him hard enough he will get tired of her moods and just walk away. she knows this, so it can't be too subconscious now can it? she knows she is doing it. she knows why she is doing it. she knows she needs to stop. and she tries. she doesn't want to be alone. despite all her misanthropic protestations, she wants someone in her life that is there for only her. she wants someone beside her who actually wants to be there. someone she can hear breathing in the middle of the night. someone close enough to hear their sigh. someone to share her space. she doesnt want to be alone and she is trying to not let that happen. she needs to stop. she needs to breathe deeper.

olderman

catefrances wrote:

she is driving herself crazy. and by doing so she knows she's driving him that way too. he doesnt say as much. he just tells her to relax. that this isnt life and death. she knows he's right. but it is her life. she tries to breathe. but there is something inside of her that won't let her be. it mocks her. for her stupidity and for her lack of judgement. she can't make a decision and she realises the way she is toward him, the way she feels the need to tell him every little thing and thought and feeling that she has, is her, perhaps not so, subconscious way to get him to leave. she doesn't want him to, but she figures if she pushes him hard enough he will get tired of her moods and just walk away. she knows this, so it can't be too subconscious now can it? she knows she is doing it. she knows why she is doing it. she knows she needs to stop. and she tries. she doesn't want to be alone. despite all her misanthropic protestations, she wants someone in her life that is there for only her. she wants someone beside her who actually wants to be there. someone she can hear breathing in the middle of the night. someone close enough to hear their sigh. someone to share her space. she doesnt want to be alone and she is trying to not let that happen. she needs to stop. she needs to breathe deeper.

that's intense and very beautiful

ClutchTheDawn

i like how this has developed over the first three posts, curious for more