save me

catefrances

yesterday it all fell apart on me
i thought you were my light but now i can not see
you took my hand, led me astray
i followed willingly, but look where i am today

can you save me
can i save me from myself

strike me down i'll stand my ground
be stronger than you ever thought i could be
i took your hand as i followed you willingly
led me astray now look where i am today

can you save me
can i save me from myself

today i walk these streets and think to myself
what it was we could have been
a perfect circle for all eternity
god what a fool i've been

can you save me
can i save me from myself
take my hand lead me astray
i will follow you more than willingly
can you save me
can i save me from myself
come on can you save me
if you could would you save me from myself
if i could would i save me from me
if i could would i, should i even try
come on, can someone save me
can you save me

justam

Cate, I'd love to save you from the idea that you need to be saved. When you drop the idea that you need someone else to save you, you are free.

Wanting to be saved is like embracing helplessness or the feeling of being an infant. Both of these are not useful for competent adults.

catefrances

anne marie, and i'd love to save you from the idea that everything i write is autobiographical. bet you think vampire's kiss is fiction, right?

Jamal

II like it a lot, kind of reminds me of one I posted here about a year ago: 'save yourself' ...

Of course, everybode can be s(h)aved, all we need is a messiah-like saviour.

catefrances

Jamal wrote:

II like it a lot, kind of reminds me of one I posted here about a year ago: 'save yourself' ...

Of course, everybode can be s(h)aved, all we need is a messiah-like saviour.

hey jamal,
im going through a very interesting time emotionally atm. some losses, some gains, a little bit of clarity and im dealing in the most constructive way i know. with words.
as for that messiah, i am my own god. so if i dont do it, no one else is gonna.

Jamal

yeah, I know what you mean, at least about the being your own god thing and not relying on others to save you ...
great that you're dealing with things in a constructive manner !

kdudala

There is no rhythm or meter to your verses. Its like a bunch of sentences arbitrarily separated by spaces. Wearing your emotions on your sleeve gives it an air of honesty, but you still need to work on crafting the poem better, maybe cut out some words, replace some, or drop entire lines. Sorry, I don't mean to be a douche but I think part of the purpose of this is for all of us to improve our creative skills, so honest feedback seems to be indispensable. Take care and good luck with your writing.

catefrances

kdudala wrote:

There is no rhythm or meter to your verses. Its like a bunch of sentences arbitrarily separated by spaces. Wearing your emotions on your sleeve gives it an air of honesty, but you still need to work on crafting the poem better, maybe cut out some words, replace some, or drop entire lines. Sorry, I don't mean to be a douche but I think part of the purpose of this is for all of us to improve our creative skills, so honest feedback seems to be indispensable. Take care and good luck with your writing.

i'm totally aware of my limitations as a poet. in fact i even hesitate to call this writing poetry. i just do so for want of a better word. i'm not one for rules and poetry is full of them. i do spew out a lot of what i affectionately call crap and that's okay. my intent is to get out what's inside. that's my sole purpose. this is my therapy.

olderman

this piece has the same tone, in my view, of a song written by Karla Bonoff -

Lose Again

Save me,
Free me from my heart this time.
The train’s gone
Down the track and I've stayed behind.

But nothing can free me
from this ball and chain
I've made up my mind
I would leave today.

But you're keepin'
Me goin'
I know it's insane
Because I love you
And lose again

When the heart calls
The mind obeys
Oh it knows better than me, baby.
If I hold on
For one more day,
Oh maybe, maybe he'll be true

And nothing can free me
From this ball and chain
I've made up my mind
I would leave today
But you're keepin'
Me goin'
I know it's insane
Because I love you and lose again.

Ever considered song writing Cate?

catefrances

olderman wrote:

this piece has the same tone, in my view, of a song written by Karla Bonoff -

Lose Again

Save me,
Free me from my heart this time.
The train’s gone
Down the track and I've stayed behind.

But nothing can free me
from this ball and chain
I've made up my mind
I would leave today.

But you're keepin'
Me goin'
I know it's insane
Because I love you
And lose again

When the heart calls
The mind obeys
Oh it knows better than me, baby.
If I hold on
For one more day,
Oh maybe, maybe he'll be true

And nothing can free me
From this ball and chain
I've made up my mind
I would leave today
But you're keepin'
Me goin'
I know it's insane
Because I love you and lose again.

Ever considered song writing Cate?

actually yes i have j. everytime i hear an intro piece of music that i automatically put words to. however i find that without the talent of being able to play an instrument i am at a disadvantage. i have attempted to learn guitar but my writing gets in the way and distracts me.