Home› Poetry, Prose, Music & Art

my first song

jodijodi Posts: 183
edited February 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
just wrote a song.. for the first time:
what do you think?
don't know if the english is correct. but i tried.. :)

Swimming

When I swim in the sea, it feels so empty
Only the fish, there are plenty
The things I do don't seem to matter
Don't know how to make things better.

In the light of the day
You came and blew my life away

But now you're gone and I can't go on
I don't seem to be that strong
My life's gone and I don't know why
People didn't noticed that I cried

In the light of the day
You came and blew my life away

The day I learn to swim has to come
Cause I don't want to feel this numb
I have to feel the sea again
Make myself better, for who I am

In the light of the day
You came, you came, you came..
And you blew my life away
There's a light,... when my baby's in my arms...
And I know she's reached my heart,... in thin air
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • tracingdaisiestracingdaisies Posts: 40
    That's a great chorus...keep (song-)writing!
    I wish I was a Democrat
    One that had a chance to win
    I wish I was a Republican
    But would I be a human being?
    --from 'Wishlist,' 7/6/03, Philadelphia

    http://www.livejournal.com/users/tracingdaisies
  • Ok2GoOk2Go Posts: 102
    coming
    "and then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change, a girl sitting on her own in a small cafe in Rickmansworth suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong in the world all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place. This time it was right and no one had to get nailed to anything. Sadly, before she could get to a phone to tell anyone about it, a terrible stupid catastrophe occurred, and the idea was lost forever."

    Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
  • jodijodi Posts: 183
    Originally posted by tracingdaisies
    That's a great chorus...keep (song-)writing!
    thnks!
    it's fun to do..
    There's a light,... when my baby's in my arms...
    And I know she's reached my heart,... in thin air
  • lifeisworthlifeisworth Posts: 186
    it is a nice song :)


    do you play?
    Nosotros nunca escuchamos la voz adentro
  • jodijodi Posts: 183
    Originally posted by lifeisworth
    it is a nice song :)


    do you play?
    thnks..
    i play since september.
    my friend and I gonna make up cords for this song..
    it's fun..
    There's a light,... when my baby's in my arms...
    And I know she's reached my heart,... in thin air
  • lifeisworthlifeisworth Posts: 186
    i'm already singing this melody, as it strikes me...

    good luck with the playing...

    i assume you are playing acoustic?
    Nosotros nunca escuchamos la voz adentro
  • sliiteofhandsliiteofhand Posts: 64
    hey,

    I thought your song was great, lots of passion, i like that in a song...keep writing songs, its therapeutic trust me...and its a safe way to vent :) take care
    "Wave to all my friends"
Sign In or Register to comment.