Bethlehem 2007 AD

Astral StarAstral Star Posts: 129
edited November 2007 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
11-26-07

From mattress to work
From work to mattress
Inside a trough filled with
beautiful despondent men
Tallies of the overlord’s
Large wooden throne
Splinter filled legends
Thorns warp their souls
Constraining their “kind”
For a few deranged minds
Who shout with wires and gunpowder
A last lash from the whip of coveted power
payment for escape to an imagined realm
But
Where for of do these souls go
merciless in their fight
All for control
Of the pebbles in the ground
The cave that was never sound
Nor the herds that squander
The baren hillsides

Oh and how his eyes
sear
deep
Into my soul
He said with a howl
"Old Edward Much is a pleasant dream
If only I could have the decadence of a nice
Long scream
For it would be heaven
In comparison to this hell"
Iron shovel
Mute Bell
"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to eachother." Mother Theresa
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Typo - Meant "Edvard Munch" It would be so nice to be able to edit my own post ;)
    "If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to eachother." Mother Theresa
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    I'm going to read this a few times more, right now!
  • chadwickchadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    Pritty good stuff Astral Star.
    I to will have to re-read it.
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."

    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • gue_bariumgue_barium Posts: 5,515
    unevenflow-weakspot: Nor the herds that squander

    The baren hillsides


    If they are barren, the herds have already done their work and moved on.

    Even if the reader does not know where the merciless fight goes, you had already laid down the definitions of squander.

    redundant, i think.

    all posts by ©gue_barium are protected under US copyright law and are not to be reproduced, exchanged or sold
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  • Hmm I shall rethink that one although there is a reasoning behind that which apparently was not conveyed very well to the reader! Wrote it in a few minutes so it needs some work for sure.

    If you read the definition of squander:
    –verb (used with object)
    1. to spend or use (money, time, etc.) extravagantly or wastefully (often fol. by away).
    2. to scatter.

    Along with the imagery of the barren hillsides I was attempting to show the futility of the Israeli/Palestenian/Christian struggle for power over Bethlehem. The squandering/wasting of what little resources are left!

    Thanks for your critique!
    "If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to eachother." Mother Theresa
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