Looking for some feedback, please

partingways

Looking for some feedback from anyone with an opinion, negative/positive: all is welcome as this is a work in progress, just like life. thanks pw.

Phobias of Radio

Phobias of the radio on, and the noise
that's lost in the night.
Where have I been missing?
Out of action, I move with the dark.

Again the radio,
in my ears, not saying goodbye. But gone.
Never to be remembered.
Left is the color. Left is black.
Its' silence isn't noticed, for now.
The glass helps hide me.

Where do all my feet point?
Passing and covering.
I have left. I am black.

Behind more forgotten static.
The moon and a cloud race.
I am safe
I can disappear
The noise does.

I cant disappear.
The moon doesnt.

mulac

i like this

"it's silence isn't noticed"

pretty cool

EvilToasterElf

There are some good images but I have a lot of trouble following it,

for instance the line "The glass helps hide me" what glass?

"Left is the color, Left is Black" I think you mean the color, the darkness are left, or remain - but that line is a little too ambiguous

At the end you say you can't disappear because the moon doesn't, but we don't really have any relationship between you and the moon in the poem, there's no fixation on staring at it, or being outside, just simply that it exists

Definately have the raw material here, you just need to string it together into a whole