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just a thought honey, just a thought

KwyjiboKwyjibo Posts: 662
edited December 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
you say its like a fairytale
with knights, dragons, castles, and fire
but its really like a big dinner
you feel uncomfortable and guilty
but you love every bite

you say we're like the clouds
all fluffy and happy in heaven
but I feel like we just stole a car
and our fun is about to end

you say we're like a metaphor
but probably more like a simile
I think you're probably right
because you bring out the best of me

I think you're a ghost,
a spectral demon
taking residence in my home
but you swear you're no poltergeist
and its coincidence that forks are flying
I'll get a cross, screaming "back vile beast!"
but it won't affect you
none of my tricks work on you
The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway, is that its you, and that you're standing in the doorway.

I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • orig_bise2postorig_bise2post Posts: 193
    Kwyjibo wrote:

    but you love every bite



    I think you're probably right
    because you bring out the best of me
    those three lines confuse me. everything about this poem (to me) is really about misinterpretation of a relationship. But these lines are lighter... and more favorable to the character's partner. maybe this is just a way to express the back and forth of feelings in a relationship... in which case, well done... i'll stop this now.

    kwijybo wrote:
    but its really like a big dinner
    you feel uncomfortable and guilty
    but you love every bite

    i love this discription!
    "Nobody is ever promised tomorrow. Increase the peace."
    ~Juan Azize
  • KwyjiboKwyjibo Posts: 662
    thanks a bunch :)
    I'm glad you liked it

    yeah, thats what I was going for dead on with the back and forth confusion.
    The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway, is that its you, and that you're standing in the doorway.

    I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
  • FelicityFelicity Posts: 339
    you love it.

    trickster.
  • Ms. HaikuMs. Haiku Washington DC Posts: 7,275
    Kwyjibo wrote:
    you say we're like a metaphor
    but probably more like a simile
    I like the irony of this line. Poem conveys a sense of guilty pleasures.
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
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