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The Smooth River Stones

KwyjiboKwyjibo Posts: 662
edited July 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
I walk with the sunset--
always going down.
the glowing rocks beneath my feet
look like your eyes, the day that you drowned.

The endless flatness here in east Texas.
Oh God, oh my God, I miss the mountains so.

The day after I got the news
that you drowned in the Yellowstone River,
I walked down to a gravel pit,
and I felt the imported smooth rocks.
I wondered where they came from,
and I pictured you with your hands
filled with smooth river stones.

I wept for the first time in 13 years.
I'm sorry I left so abruptly, my sweet
forgotten lover. But the mountains were
too much for me, but now I miss them so.
The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway, is that its you, and that you're standing in the doorway.

I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • KwyjiboKwyjibo Posts: 662
    So um, I just put some music to this, and sang. So if you'd like to hear it:

    http://s9.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0CDVPQRI7M6PC0PO0JJAXNX2KE
    The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway, is that its you, and that you're standing in the doorway.

    I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
  • lovin kindlovin kind Posts: 268
    that line i wont ever forget

    unbelievable poem

    your awesome



    and the women took over every decision and they were nice
    much nicer than man
    thanks to everyone who can read what i write without having to say something mean
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Posts: 12,223
    You know, this poem's set in Texas but there's so much of medieval Irish poetry (at least, what I've read in translations) in the phrasing, imagery and voice. Your ancestral muse is sounding through you! Great work.
  • Righteous JammerRighteous Jammer Posts: 509
    I got tears in my eyes...very powerful
    It doesnt hurt.... when I bleed
    but memories...they eat me
    I've seen it all before,...
    bring it on cause I'm no victim.
    -Ghost
  • KwyjiboKwyjibo Posts: 662
    wow! I thought this poem had died w/out any comments. Thanks guys!
    The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway, is that its you, and that you're standing in the doorway.

    I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Posts: 12,223
    Yes, it's very good. In fact it stands out.
  • Mad MohabMad Mohab Posts: 310
    Nice!
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