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silent walk

KwyjiboKwyjibo Posts: 662
edited March 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
A snowflake landed in your hair,
it never melted, its still there.
and frost on grass beneath our feet
the soles can't melt it and neither can we
the stars, they shone a perfect light
but I couldnt look away from your eyes

we walked for hours trying to find
what our voices failed to describe
and then you left, without a word
and I never got to know for sure

the pain you brought, I'll drink away.
with every drink I'll make you stay
I'll fight and kick and scream and claw
just for one more silent walk
The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway, is that its you, and that you're standing in the doorway.

I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • BuruBuru Posts: 8,473
    this was beautiful...
    all of it :)
    liked specially

    the stars the shone a perfect light
    but I couldnt look away from your eyes
    y la banda de Guille... cuando toca?
  • tenaciousAtenaciousA Posts: 604
    i like the cadence :)

    nice rhythms :)
    ~all is full of love~
  • darkrosedarkrose Posts: 40
    great flow to this piece. I like it very much..probably because I can relate to it so damn well.
  • KwyjiboKwyjibo Posts: 662
    ok, I just put this song up on my website... its only llike 1.8 mb if you wanna download it and tell me what you think, its a really really really shitty recording quality so you may have to crank the ol speakers for it to be audible
    :)

    http://www.geocities.com/kwidgiborock/Silent_Walk.mp3

    click save target as
    The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway, is that its you, and that you're standing in the doorway.

    I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
  • coleencoleen Posts: 938
    so lovely i can't choose my favorite line or stanza, its just an altogether beautiful piece of writing.
  • KwyjiboKwyjibo Posts: 662
    aww shucks
    The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway, is that its you, and that you're standing in the doorway.

    I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
  • CranMalReignCranMalReign Posts: 1,928
    First stanza is definitely my favorite.

    It's the coldness. Foreshadowing of the pain.
    • 98 Pgh
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    • 03 Pgh|Philly|PSU|Camden 1+2|Hershey
    • 04 Boston 1|Reading
    • 05 Philly
    • 06 Camden 1+2|Pgh
    • 08 Camden 1+2|Hartford|Mansfield 2
    • 09 Philly 1 [EV]|Toronto|Spectrum 1-4
    • 10 Cleveland|Buffalo
    • 11 Philly [EV]|PJ20
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    • 14 Cincy|StL
    • 16 Philly 1+2|Philly 2 [TotD]
    • 18 Boston 1+2
  • jamainiacjamainiac Posts: 429
    I'm so used to goofing around on AET...

    I'm lost for words... for once...

    That's really beautiful... :)
    Exercising her will to lose control...
    she lets go
  • brokenarrowbrokenarrow Posts: 478
    What a beautiful piece of writing...
  • KwyjiboKwyjibo Posts: 662
    thanks guys it means a lot
    The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway, is that its you, and that you're standing in the doorway.

    I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
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