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a good night poem to all of you cause I felt like writing right now before bed

KwyjiboKwyjibo Posts: 662
edited July 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
you get a running start
and leap as high as you can
and fall right off the map
right here into my lap

and such a pretty surprise it will be
a somehow unsuited flush for me
a dream that never goes
the cute little wriggling of your toes

what a marvelous thought to have
from a simple hard working man
that thought of you and I again
that thought of trying hard again

so listen to the whisper that you hear
its not your conscience drawing you near
its a memory of three days we had
and a day that you came back and...
and..
you came back and...

you brought your new boyfriend with you
The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway, is that its you, and that you're standing in the doorway.

I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • of_the_girlof_the_girl Posts: 745
    :(:( umm... that was sad!!!

    but well written.
    such a sharp ending to something that seemed to be going in a positive direction.
    really grabs you at the end, makes your heart stop for a sec.
    makes the reader go to the place... you were at.

    thanks again pat.
    "At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet." --Plato

    www.myspace.com/birdinamitten
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    That was quite a surprise ending.

    I think the faltering way you started that sentence worked really well.
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • KwyjiboKwyjibo Posts: 662
    yep... thats what the intention was, I'm glad it worked well
    The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway, is that its you, and that you're standing in the doorway.

    I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
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