Letter Poems: An Exercise

KwyjiboKwyjibo Posts: 662
edited April 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Write a poem in which a particular speaker who refers to him or herself as "I" is addressing a particular "you." The poem does not need to be an actual letter (it doesn't have to start out with "Dear X"), but since the speaker will be addressing the "you," the receiver of the poem, readers will feel as though they are overhearing the words. Give some thought to whom you want to talk to in the poem. It might be a stranger or a fictinaly character. It might be someon who's dead. It might be someone you know very weel, although in the poem you are of course free to say anything, not just what you would ordinarily say to that person. (The "letter" might be unmailable!)

Example:
The River-Merchant's Wife: A Letter by Li Po (eighth century)
(translated from French to English by Ezra Pound)

While my hair was still cut straight across my forehead
I played about the front gate, pulling flowers.
You came by on bamboo stilts, playing horse,
You walked about my seat, playing with blue plums.
And we went on living in the village of Chokan:
Two small people, without dislike or suspicion.

At fourteen I married My Lord you.
I never laughed, being bashful.
Lowering my head, I looked at the wall.
Called to, a thousand times, I never looked back.

At fifteen I stopped scowling,
I desired my dust to be mingled with yours
Forever and forever and forever.
Why should I climb the lookout?

At sixteen you departed,
You went into far Ku-to-en, by the river of swirling eddies,
And you have been gone five months.
The monkeys make sorrowful noise overhead.

You dragged your feet when you went out.
By the gate now, the moss is grown, the different mosses,
Too deep to clear them away!
The leaves fall early this autumn, in wind.
The paired butterflies are already yellow with August
Over the grass in the West garden;
They hurt me. I grow older.
If you are coming down through the narrows of the river Kiang,
Please let me know beforehand,
And I will come out to meet you
...As far as Cho-fo-Sa.

Li Po was a male and writing this poem in the voice of a young female.

I'll put mine up a little later after I think o' somethin' good.
The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway, is that its you, and that you're standing in the doorway.

I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • oldermanolderman Posts: 1,765
    i confess this is my last good bye,
    you've won again, it seems,
    the curtain calls for you to bow,
    the spotlight fits you well,

    i talked to you just yesterday,
    you said this might just work,
    but now i know the flection,
    it's like such a putrid smell,

    you fooled me and you schooled me,
    at such an early age,
    you shot an apple from my head,
    the stories you could tell.

    i'll never tell a soul 'bout you,
    your name will never spill,
    except upon the storied tales,
    conscripted in my hell.
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • KwyjiboKwyjibo Posts: 662
    excellent! powerful poem olderman!
    The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway, is that its you, and that you're standing in the doorway.

    I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
  • oldermanolderman Posts: 1,765
    thank you..

    very special coming from Kwyjibo :)
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • KwyjiboKwyjibo Posts: 662
    I was thinking about that three weeks
    we spent together late last fall,
    with the cotton floating from the trees
    twisting like a hurricane around your slim frame.

    I remember that very first night,
    with our faces side by side
    on the cool, dusty tile floor.
    I watched your chest heave
    up and down, and felt your body
    shivering, and then I knew I loved you.

    I feel like a stranger to you now.
    It's been far too long, so I'm coming
    to Oregon again, sometime this spring.
    I will understand if you don't love me,
    but I need to see you.
    The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway, is that its you, and that you're standing in the doorway.

    I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
  • ISNISN Posts: 1,700
    I knew you when you were but young
    a latch-key boy with my latch-key
    I gave you everything I had of value
    including myself
    your departure was like an amputation
    and I slowly fell apart again
    I love you more than earth's green bliss
    and more than heaven's spin

    your wistful looks and laboured laugh
    make light of all that's dark
    you are the antidote to wrong
    and wrongly you're not mine
    I love you longer than a sigh
    and deeper than a love's pine....

    I know you now - we speak in games
    and you are older yet
    but your love's not getting
    easier to get.....

    :D
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • ISNISN Posts: 1,700
    ....than love's pine....
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • Ms. HaikuMs. Haiku Posts: 7,265
    Kwyjibo wrote:
    Write a poem in which a particular speaker who refers to him or herself as "I" is addressing a particular "you." The poem does not need to be an actual letter (it doesn't have to start out with "Dear X"), but since the speaker will be addressing the "you," the receiver of the poem, readers will feel as though they are overhearing the words. Give some thought to whom you want to talk to in the poem. It might be a stranger or a fictinaly character. It might be someon who's dead. It might be someone you know very weel, although in the poem you are of course free to say anything, not just what you would ordinarily say to that person. (The "letter" might be unmailable!)

    Example:
    The River-Merchant's Wife: A Letter by Li Po (eighth century)
    (translated from French to English by Ezra Pound)

    While my hair was still cut straight across my forehead
    I played about the front gate, pulling flowers.
    You came by on bamboo stilts, playing horse,
    You walked about my seat, playing with blue plums.
    And we went on living in the village of Chokan:
    Two small people, without dislike or suspicion.

    At fourteen I married My Lord you.
    I never laughed, being bashful.
    Lowering my head, I looked at the wall.
    Called to, a thousand times, I never looked back.

    At fifteen I stopped scowling,
    I desired my dust to be mingled with yours
    Forever and forever and forever.
    Why should I climb the lookout?

    At sixteen you departed,
    You went into far Ku-to-en, by the river of swirling eddies,
    And you have been gone five months.
    The monkeys make sorrowful noise overhead.

    You dragged your feet when you went out.
    By the gate now, the moss is grown, the different mosses,
    Too deep to clear them away!
    The leaves fall early this autumn, in wind.
    The paired butterflies are already yellow with August
    Over the grass in the West garden;
    They hurt me. I grow older.
    If you are coming down through the narrows of the river Kiang,
    Please let me know beforehand,
    And I will come out to meet you
    ...As far as Cho-fo-Sa.

    Li Po was a male and writing this poem in the voice of a young female.

    I'll put mine up a little later after I think o' somethin' good.
    This is one of my favorite poems of all time! I first read in 17 years ago as a sophomore in college.
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
  • KwyjiboKwyjibo Posts: 662
    what a coincidence Bibliobella, I am a sophomore in college, and read it for the first time last week :)
    The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway, is that its you, and that you're standing in the doorway.

    I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
  • Great idea, Kwijibo! Very inspiring. I'll write something for tomorrow. :)
  • KwyjiboKwyjibo Posts: 662
    Here's another example, Richard Hugo is a really talented local poet.

    Letter To Kizer From Seattle


    Dear Condor: Much thanks for that telephonic support
    from North Carolina when I suddenly went ape
    in the Iowa tulips. Lord, but I'm ashamed.
    I was afraid, it seemed, according to the doctor
    of impending success, winning some poetry prizes
    or getting a wet kiss. The more popular I got,
    the softer the soft cry in my head: Don't believe them.
    You were never good. Then I broke and proved it.
    Ten successive days I alienated women
    I liked best. I told a coed why her poems were bad
    (they weren't) and didn't understand a word I said.
    Really warped. The phrase "I'll be all right"
    came out too many unsolicited times. I'm o.k. now.
    I'm back at the primal source of poems: wind, sea
    and rain, the market and the salmon. Speaking
    of the market, they're having a vital election here.
    Save the market? Tear it down? The forces of evil
    maintain they're trying to save it too, obscuring,
    of course, the issue. The forces of righteousness,
    me and my friends, are praying for a storm, one
    of those grim dark rolling southwest downpours
    that will leave the electorate sane. I'm the last poet
    to teach the Roethke chair under Heilman.
    He's retiring after 23 years. Most of the old gang
    is gone. Sol Katz is aging. Who isn't? It's close now
    to the end of summer and would you believe it
    I've ignored the Blue Moon. I did go to White Center,
    you know, my home town, and the people there,
    many are the same, but also aging, balking, remarkably
    polite and calm. A man whose name escapes me
    said he thinks he had known me, the boy who went alone
    to Longfellow Creek and who laughed and cried
    for no reason. The city is huge, maybe three quarters
    of a million and lots of crime. They are indicting
    the former chief of police. Sorry to be so rambling.
    I eat lunch with J. Hillis Miller, brilliant and nice
    as they come, in the faculty club, overlooking the lake,
    much of it now filled in. And I tour old haunts,
    been twice to Kapowsin. One trout. One perch. One poem.
    Take care, oh wisest of condors. Love. Dick. Thanks again.

    Richard Hugo
    The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway, is that its you, and that you're standing in the doorway.

    I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
  • KwyjiboKwyjibo Posts: 662
    The most remarkable thing about coming home to you, is the feeling of being in motion again, it's the most extraordinary thing in the world--

    I have two big hands, and a heart pumping blood,
    and a 1967 colt .45 with a busted safety catch.
    The world shines as i cross the Macon County line--
    going to Georgia

    The most remarkable thing
    about you standing in the doorway,
    is that it's you, and that you're standing in the doorway.

    And you smile as you ease the gun from my hand,
    and i'm frozen with joy right where i stand.
    The world throws its light underneath your hair--
    Forty miles from Atlanta--this is nowhere.
    Going to Georgia

    The world shines as i cross the macon county line
    going to Georgia.
    The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway, is that its you, and that you're standing in the doorway.

    I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
  • oldermanolderman Posts: 1,765
    Dear diary, what a day it's been.
    Dear diary, it's been just like a dream.
    Woke up late. Wasn't where I should have been.
    For goodness sake what's happening to me.
    Write lightly, yours truly, dear diary.

    It was cold outside my door.
    So many people by the score.
    Rushing around so senselessly.
    They don't notice there's people like me.
    Write lightly, yours truly, dear diary.

    They don't know what they're playing.
    They've no way of knowing what the game is.
    Still they carry on doing what they can.
    Outside me, yours truly, dear diary.

    It's over. Will tomorrow be the same?
    I know that they're really not to blame.
    If they wern't so blind then surely they'd see.
    There's a much better way for them to be.
    Inside me, yours truly, dear diary.
    ...

    Somebody exploded an H-bomb today.
    But it wasn't anyone I knew.

    An old wistful song by The Moody Blues, but it has aged well and has a beautiful melody.. that was the strength of the MB, the melody.
    Down the street you can hear her scream youre a disgrace
    As she slams the door in his drunken face
    And now he stands outside
    And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
    He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
    What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
    Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
    And his tears fall and burn the garden green
  • pearlmuttpearlmutt Posts: 392
    (about the Moody Blues. Once I said, to an ex-boyfriend, and this is probably why he is an ex, that I loved I know you're out there somewhere, and he said, "That's quite possibly the worst song ever written; it's definately their worst."

    Then four years later I was in an Imax watching this amazing film on caves and spelunking and I Know You're Out There Somewhere started playing; it was pretty much the entire soundtrack of the film. I laughed. Yes, it's obviously their worst!)
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