Another poem for class
Kwyjibo
Posts: 662
This one had to present a character among other things
Forgotten Photograph
Cigarette smoke, still clinging to his clothes.
Whiskey and vodka, still burning in his throat.
Temporary solutions, to a permanent problem.
He crawls into bed,
still wearing his clothes.
A light blinks off in the distance.
He’s wearing three layers,
but he’s still cold.
Broken bottles all over the floor.
Picture frames shattered;
from their all-out war.
As he rummages through the glass,
brown, stained with red,
He sees that old picture of them,
and the back of it said,
"take this with you and don't forget me
it will keep you warm, and you won't miss me
I will be in your heart forever, so be quiet and kiss me"
So he wipes off the grime,
and sticks it in his wallet,
next to a picture that would make her cry–
if she ever saw it.
Forgotten Photograph
Cigarette smoke, still clinging to his clothes.
Whiskey and vodka, still burning in his throat.
Temporary solutions, to a permanent problem.
He crawls into bed,
still wearing his clothes.
A light blinks off in the distance.
He’s wearing three layers,
but he’s still cold.
Broken bottles all over the floor.
Picture frames shattered;
from their all-out war.
As he rummages through the glass,
brown, stained with red,
He sees that old picture of them,
and the back of it said,
"take this with you and don't forget me
it will keep you warm, and you won't miss me
I will be in your heart forever, so be quiet and kiss me"
So he wipes off the grime,
and sticks it in his wallet,
next to a picture that would make her cry–
if she ever saw it.
The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway, is that its you, and that you're standing in the doorway.
I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
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Comments
there are parts i found to be particularly poignant:
"Temporary solutions, to a permanent problem."
and "He’s wearing three layers, but he’s still cold."
but i think the whole poem works really well, great job, keep rockin
Mitch Hedberg- RIP 1968-2005. your jokes have laughed me through a lot. I thank you.
change last line to "If ever she saw it"
Just a tiny switch but I think it sounds better.
methinks my eyes are a bit misty after that one.
keep them coming.
The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.