I like this concept, but I'm having trouble making it work
Kwyjibo
Posts: 662
open for suggestions
you're walking down the stairwell
with your books under your arm
You've got a ginger little step
and you're graceful like a swan
you bite your lip--you're nervous
but I mean you no harm
Your nimble little fingertips
press into my palm
And all at once a thousand voices
murmur in your heart
they pulse in like a tidal wave
and overcome your thoughts
I look at you--you look away
and I realize you're lost
Your walking down the stairwell
with your books under your arm
should I go up and talk to you
or stay here--and lose you before you're lost
you're walking down the stairwell
with your books under your arm
You've got a ginger little step
and you're graceful like a swan
you bite your lip--you're nervous
but I mean you no harm
Your nimble little fingertips
press into my palm
And all at once a thousand voices
murmur in your heart
they pulse in like a tidal wave
and overcome your thoughts
I look at you--you look away
and I realize you're lost
Your walking down the stairwell
with your books under your arm
should I go up and talk to you
or stay here--and lose you before you're lost
The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway, is that its you, and that you're standing in the doorway.
I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments
I wanted to keep the rhyme pattern slanting down... and that was all I could think of.
I knew "graceful like a swan" was kind of cliche, but its all I had.
good suggestion
I write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook. But in the long tresses of your hair--I am a babbling brook.