Rhyming?

Outshyned

Alright, i wrote some rhymish stuff last week or whenever. Usually my stuff doesn't rhyme like that.. My 7th grade English teacher didn't like me to rhyme lol.

Anyways, i was just looking for some feedback or constructive criticism.
I love reading/writing poetry dude. Seriously. What an awesome section of this board. .



reason is not treason
witches brew
think it through
what can you do?

seems to be dreams
this world i envision
simplicity
nonconformity
cooperation
uncorporation
dare to be fair
clean the air

division of vision
once mingled
now singled

water abused
hideously used
sore liver to drink
doesn't anyone think?

why can't i fly i cry
straight into the sky
try try try
winged supremacy

humanity for sanity
common sense
mending a fence
tear it down
break the crown
if need be

lend a hand
heal the land
return before you burn
return return return

FinsburyParkCarrots

There are several kinds of rhyme. here are some basics:

1) There's assonance, where you repeat the same vowel sound, mainly in the stressed syllable of a word:

lend/help
raise/plane

Note that the "ai" sound in "raise" sounds similar to the "a" in plane, in spite of different spellings.

2) There's consonance, where you repeat the sounds at the end of words:

leND/haND
meeT/greeT

3) There's reverse rhyme, which is like alliteration, except you not only repeat the first syllable of a word, but also the first vowel sound that follows it:

TRActor/TRAgedy
GRAb/GRAnny

4) Then you've got pararhyme, also known as half-rhyme. You repeat the first and last consonant groups in a word:

GLimmeR/GLamouR
SurrouND/SouND

5) Rhyme: well, that's pretty simple, on the face of things, but you can get ear-rhyme, such as

great/wait

Which sounds equivalent, although "ea" and "ai" look different;

and you can get eye-rhyme, where words sound different but look similar on paper:

prove/love

FinsburyParkCarrots

Er, hang on. I meant to add some more.

As for 1), here are some examples of assonance, with words of more than one syllable:

Sustain/Profane

and, for 3) I didn't mean to say, "except you not only repeat the first syllable of a word", but rather, "except you not only repeat the first consonantal group of a word".

Hope all that helps!

Outshyned

Thank you FPC

I always liked your nickname btw.

FinsburyParkCarrots

Well, the first time I ever went to a PJ gig, Ed crowdsurfed near my head, so itcould have been er, Southend Esplanade Nosesquash Experience, or Newcastle Riverside It Must Be Porch Time, ot London ULU Clayton Troupe Thing Ed I Got A Feeling Suash Some Heads, or First Finsbury Park 1992 I'm Not Taking A Polaroid of You You Ugly Bastard, or Finsbury Park 1993 I'll Just Kill You with a Carrot ....

etc....




None of that rhymed.