Mother

Sampradaha

She's a saint, a savior, preys to a wet dream on a crucifix, narcissistic sick b*tch, never to fall, it's our fault your life has turned to dust and ash.
They don't no you like I do, I see your pleasure from their praise, you live for them, but for us we are a burden, always treated you children like trash.
Your career, your dreams put on never, take it out on us, we are to blame.
We never had the right to cry, we could of had your life. Do you think your narccissism will win you some sort of fame. Wasted away because you chose twice, to become a wife.
Two beautiful souls, born from you tretchery, should have been three, it should have been me.
Now we must awaken from your hate and deciet, we thank you for saving us from love, all thats left to feel is pain. But I swear to you this, I won't let you win, I promise I will defeat.
You will undoubtably go on living your lies, self deception, you have chose your fate.
Pretending your marthyrdom, your magnanamous saint hood in their eyes. Karmic debt will soon weave it's web, you will try and disprove these words of pain and hate.
I once resented you for not ridding of your burdens, but I have learned to forgive. I no longer feel for you the hatred and fear. My true Mother has taught me love and for the first time, how to live. I don't want your crap, your money, your twisted love; I am better off without you Oh Mother Dear.

setaside2

I know this piece, I have lived this piece...

I wish you only the best and may our mothers forgive themselves the wrongs they know they are guilty of, whether they like it or NOT.

FancyFacade

i used to feel that way about my mom. she used to beat me up everywhere, in the morning, on the way home from school, etc.

no one knew what our family was really like. but, i got saved, and i have forgiven my mom, and i can see her through God's eyes. how He sees her, as a child she was abused.....oh well i know you probably dont want to hear anything about God, but He has healed my heart pretty much. good luck with your future.

tenaciousA

forgive

AND


repent

Random Access

Here's an unceremonious counter to this thread. Since this subject makes up my makeup (so to speak), I opened it and found a very different train of thought going on here. So here you go.

I loved my mom. more than anything. She spent time with me, she held me even when she didn't want to because she was tired. She was intelligent, scrupled, moral, kind, had a good sharp wit, put people at ease. She encouraged me to learn, and explore the world through books, and words, and paint, and nature, and other people. She could swear better that anyone I know if she was angry, she was not quite 5 feet tall, and could still scare the shit out of 6 foot tall hoodlums hanging out at 3am drinking in front of our house.
She is dead and gone now for many more years than she was alive in my lifetime, but she is a constant source of memory in my head. And perhaps her death did more to shape my personality than her life? The jury's still out on that one...

Mothers are tricky things. They hold so much power over us, and usually in the most disconnected sort of ways. You hear your mother's voice in your head at exactly the wrong moment sometime. They are God at some point, they are assholes at some point. They are people who had problems just like you and me. Take whatever you are able from mothers. disregard what you must in order to stay sane.
Be aware they here and they are not. Just that quickly.
We are here and we are not. Just that quickly.


that's all. Thx.

loveandrew-wood

im off to look up narccissitic

dont you feel that words like pessimistic

and narccissitic are kind of confining words

i hate it when i feel like im a word besides

equal, words like this are political i think

everyone hold hands and love this could be

the day

i want to gain strength and overtake you

i love you

ghost

Sampradaha

Thanks to everyone that supports me! All I know is that I will always love my Mother, but the time comes when honesty catches up. She knows the pain I feel but It's my turn to change the future! Every minute effects me, and I smile. Peace to all!!

August storm

i can understand what you are saying as well my mother really messed up big when i was little and she still does it today, when i was little she did so many drugs and drank so much it was not like having her around it was like having somone i didnt know instead, she would get me into scary situations,and has even almost killed me once, becuase of her being so intoxicated i was abused, and now all these years later i had chosen to forgive her and we were having a decent relationship. then all of a sudden she started acting up she will call me one day and be really nice to me and act like somone who cares, then the next day she will call and say that im a freak becuase i have a a few tattoos, she rags on everythign i do. and when i was little and she would mess up she would send me gifts even if i hadnt seen her in a year or so then shed go off to party again. now when we fight she will send me and my children stuff in the mail, i hate it becuase its not the material things i want i want her to treat me like someone she loves. i think the most painful thing she does to me is talk shit about my dad, hardcore, she really hates him , but he is the reason im still here he got custody of me becuase she was always messed up. well anyhow i understand the pain, and i cant say that it ever goes away for me it hasnt, but i wish you the best and i hope one day yours does..............peace

loveandrew-wood

you first line proves the pradox or whatever and here it is
wet dream and crucifix had me thinking i dont want my jesus in that descriptive thought but thats what life is freedom of expression , i really think that although im sure god gets upset with our words that hes not like a possessive boyfriend or girlfriend
it does say in the bible that we should fear god
and let me tell ya aint nothin like having so much fear that you see a flashing light to the center of you brain that changes the chemical makeup of your forever
anyone ever been through anything like this?
i fear god
i probably should get back to petrified fear though cause these words are seemin quite idle to me


god bless ya
its jesus day

Sampradaha

Wet dream on a crucifx describes the frame of mind that narcissist's are in, the ultimate savior, (they believe they are at that level) another tortured savior. It's a vivid description!
Anyway, props to your Jesus, I mean no offense.

........................Fear creates ignorance

Amaterasu

Well you've decided.
But let me say this fear creates perception.

Being Enlightened

Originally posted by Sampradaha
She's a saint, a savior, preys to a wet dream on a crucifix, narcissistic sick b*tch, never to fall, it's our fault your life has turned to dust and ash.
They don't no you like I do, I see your pleasure from their praise, you live for them, but for us we are a burden, always treated you children like trash.
Your career, your dreams put on never, take it out on us, we are to blame.
We never had the right to cry, we could of had your life. Do you think your narccissism will win you some sort of fame. Wasted away because you chose twice, to become a wife.
Two beautiful souls, born from you tretchery, should have been three, it should have been me.
Now we must awaken from your hate and deciet, we thank you for saving us from love, all thats left to feel is pain. But I swear to you this, I won't let you win, I promise I will defeat.
You will undoubtably go on living your lies, self deception, you have chose your fate.
Pretending your marthyrdom, your magnanamous saint hood in their eyes. Karmic debt will soon weave it's web, you will try and disprove these words of pain and hate.
I once resented you for not ridding of your burdens, but I have learned to forgive. I no longer feel for you the hatred and fear. My true Mother has taught me love and for the first time, how to live. I don't want your crap, your money, your twisted love; I am better off without you Oh Mother Dear.

I am better off without you Oh Mother Dear.

Amen to that!

Very emotional and I really liked it a lot! Speaks volumes!