My Poem....

THC
THC Posts: 525
edited June 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Monkey's


Monkey's....
What's up with them?
Monkey's....
They're funny
Monkey's.....
I like how they pick the bugs off eachother...its nice!
Monkey's.....


that's it....i'm still kinda working on it....(well...its always sorta a work in progress)...
but what do people think?....
(its very nerve racking showing your work...ya know)
“Kept in a small bowl, the goldfish will remain small. With more space, the fish can grow double, triple, or quadruple its size.”
-Big Fish
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • bambi girl
    bambi girl Posts: 406
    *blown away*



    i didnt know you had it in you...

    and what IS up with them?? hmmm....

    and you know what else i am getting from this, the double meaning i feel you are trying to portray that WE should be more like monkeys, the simplicity of the monkey kingdom should be present in our own lives.....yes, very good THC..

    *sits back and ponders some more*
  • nailz100
    nailz100 Posts: 1,176
    Sounds like a kids song
    Only with our eyes closed can we truly see
  • BlackPilate
    BlackPilate Posts: 14
    May I add a suggestion? Audiences wanna hear about feces. And you have a wonderful opportunity here with your poem about monkeys, where feces is just the natural progression. Throwing feces, stinking like feces, dingleberries... Explore the genre my friend. The skies the limit.
    "What's that you're hacking off? Is it my torso? It is! My precious torso!"
  • THC
    THC Posts: 525
    Originally posted by bambi girl
    *blown away*



    i didnt know you had it in you...

    and what IS up with them?? hmmm....

    and you know what else i am getting from this, the double meaning i feel you are trying to portray that WE should be more like monkeys, the simplicity of the monkey kingdom should be present in our own lives.....yes, very good THC..

    *sits back and ponders some more*

    WOW...thanks!
    it feels good to get some positive reinforcement from the poetry community....it really does....

    and BP....i know what you're saying....but that's not the direction i want to take this....
    maybe you should work on a little something yourself....
    you know...writing poetry can be VERY theraputic!.....
    “Kept in a small bowl, the goldfish will remain small. With more space, the fish can grow double, triple, or quadruple its size.”
    -Big Fish
  • nailz100
    nailz100 Posts: 1,176
    THC....I noticed in your profile that you are a musician. What do you play?
    Only with our eyes closed can we truly see
  • THC
    THC Posts: 525
    Originally posted by nailz100
    THC....I noticed in your profile that you are a musician. What do you play?

    i'm the singer in my band.....
    “Kept in a small bowl, the goldfish will remain small. With more space, the fish can grow double, triple, or quadruple its size.”
    -Big Fish
  • nailz100
    nailz100 Posts: 1,176
    Cool....me as well. and these chicks don't even know the name of my band
    Only with our eyes closed can we truly see
  • ISN
    ISN Posts: 1,700
    what's the names of your bands.....?
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • Jerram
    Jerram Posts: 41
    Something stinks in here alright and its not feces...its the smell of sarcasm...
    "I wish I were a messenger and all the news was good" - E.V.
  • ISN
    ISN Posts: 1,700
    I didn't notice it.....?
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • nailz100
    nailz100 Posts: 1,176
    My bands name is "Disgrace The Retroman". There's a link to it in my profile. Funny...did you think I was joking about being in a band Jerram
    Only with our eyes closed can we truly see
  • bambi girl
    bambi girl Posts: 406
    Originally posted by THC
    i'm the singer in my band.....


    a singer!?!



    hmph.....i did not know!!!!

    i play guitar, we can jam :p and sing this song.....oh it will be fine!
  • nailz100
    nailz100 Posts: 1,176
    Did you call me Bambi Girl?
    Only with our eyes closed can we truly see
  • bambi girl
    bambi girl Posts: 406
    Originally posted by nailz100
    Did you call me Bambi Girl?



    you too??? wow.....cos, i kinda am.....but not, its not a real band....but i sing for it....hmm, anyway....


    we all have to get together and sing and jam out on guitars :D


    who's buying me a plane ticket?? ;):D
  • nailz100
    nailz100 Posts: 1,176
    That woul dbe one PRICY ticket.... If only I had a million dollars
    Only with our eyes closed can we truly see
  • DopeBeastie
    DopeBeastie Posts: 2,513
    Originally posted by Jerram
    the smell of sarcasm...


    it is thick, isn't?


    wretched poem...

    truly...


    bites ASS, as it were... :P

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