Wor(l)ds

likepilateihaveadog

You've already filled a notebook
And days upon end
Lodged in my head
While yours rests on a pillow
Halfway around the world.

I'm starting to wonder how
many more
you'd fill if you just ever
came back
And said "yes"

That's the long story short...

And I am starting to wonder
what more I could do
to make you happy
Or
maybe there's a better word
than happy
Since
I think, to me, it was always something other than a Friday night
thing

It was that connection
However tenuous
or silly
that, at times, I can see is so mutual and
Real
and at times I wonder, even exists at all
every once in a while it hits so hard
I can't do anything but laugh
To think this must be it

I remember just laughing and squinting
and seeing through those pinched lids
how
Perfectly it would all work out
but once our distance stretches out
and all it feels is far away
I just can't wait for this to be over
so I can
Move on

It cycles back so much it hurts
I'm so tense
Knowing the endpoint to your hiatus is nearing
and I wonder what kind of kiss I could plunk down
on that face
your lips
with my jaw held so tight this past eight months
my teeth ground to powder

We did punctuate it quite nicely there,
twice,
in New York
on that sad corner of goodbyes
which I walked twice
in the cold
and in the heat
past the park
where we sat
and I alone as well
as my father
and his before him

So maybe this story
has an ending we're all involved in
And I imagine
has been through two drafts already
many years in the past
On that sad and lonely corner
of exhaled hope
and the first step
back home
twice
Or is it the third time?

Maybe next time you'll follow.

Bu2

Seems you've given it space already (the relationship, of course, hence the name of the poem) -- and it seems you've given it time. All I can hope is this is just a rhyme. Otherwise, consider yourself hugged by a stranger with no cruel intent, who just happened to see you standing there, on that corner, bleeding a little, a hurting a lot.

likepilateihaveadog

Bu2 wrote:

Seems you've given it space already (the relationship, of course, hence the name of the poem) -- and it seems you've given it time. All I can hope is this is just a rhyme. Otherwise, consider yourself hugged by a stranger with no cruel intent, who just happened to see you standing there, on that corner, bleeding a little, a hurting a lot.

well, gee thanks.
I make it sound way worse than it is...

half the fun

yeah, the subtitle for this is "fuck washtington square park"
but uh, anyway...

thanks for the comments and all the good work in here lately too.

Bu2

but please ignore my one post I'm ashamed of. The one where I mention Indians.

Luv and stuff,
Bu

likepilateihaveadog

Never would've thought
I'd write a poem
Sitting on the metro stop
in DC
Alone
so fuckin alone
So far from anything
so far from home
With nothing but a little piece of metal holding it all together

And you're back now
So I hear
But it feels the same
release - I guess
never quite came

When you imagine a little too much
sketch a picture
before you have the paint
time can't be cheated
future is always a dream away

Bu2

Here we are on a street corner, and you're feeling blue, but telling me I read too much into things. But the pain in you sings, and it sounds an awful lot like Ed's voice.

Nice work, Pilate. Again.

likepilateihaveadog

Bu2 wrote:

Here we are on a street corner, and you're feeling blue, but telling me I read too much into things. But the pain in you sings, and it sounds an awful lot like Ed's voice.

Nice work, Pilate. Again.

haha.
that seems to be a theme, I guess.
hmmm...it's not pain, no, not at all.
just feeling blue.
it's all on me.

Bu2

Does that mean you can buy me a drink or two?

Just kidding. Your work is very wistful, and well-written. In my weird way, I was just trying to say so. It makes me feel young and in love again, and heartbroken again, reading your stuff. You have a poignancy about you that is very touching. Please keep it up.

likepilateihaveadog

Bu2 wrote:

Just kidding. Your work is very wistful, and well-written. In my weird way, I was just trying to say so. It makes me feel young and in love again, and heartbroken again, reading your stuff. You have a poignancy about you that is very touching. Please keep it up.

Thanks.
Mean it.

Yeah, I've been working on the real thing lately, so not too much time to write.
or material, really.
it comes and goes. just thought of this just now...weird little revelation.
the heartbroken hasn't come yet - but I can kind of feel it, you know.
this is preparing, maybe?

Bu2

The more you love, the more it's gonna break. What came before was just practice for the real thing.

Learn that, accept it, and you'll never have doubts again.

Now....grasshopper....take this beer can from my hand.....and love like you ain't never loved before. It's worth its pain, and more.

xoxo,
Bu

likepilateihaveadog

Bu2 wrote:

The more you love, the more it's gonna break. What came before was just practice for the real thing.

Learn that, accept it, and you'll never have doubts again.

Now....grasshopper....take this beer can from my hand.....and love like you ain't never loved before. It's worth its pain, and more.

xoxo,
Bu

oh, yeah yeah yeah

there's a song called "world of hurt" by the Drive-By Truckers

to love is to feel pain/it's gonna be a world of hurt

To me, that meant what you just wrote.
I understand. I accept that, but I'm still learning it, you know?

Thanks again.

likepilateihaveadog

which is ironic, since I titled this "worlds/words"



must've been in the subconcious somewhere when writing it...actually wrote the first one here waiting for a DBT show down in DC.

ahhh, it all comes around.

Bu2

any rent? (I keep studying your tag line, your "signature"). Your mind is a cool place to be -- it's seen Pearl Jam play live many times, and my mind and eyes and ears haven't. I just listen to the records and dive into bliss, in my living room. I've never been near a mosh pit. But this message pit is a home away from home, and I thank you and many others for making it that way.

No matter what love brings you, or takes away from you.......you will always still be you. And I'll always remember your poems.

Think about that.

Much love,
Bu

Jamal

All very beautiful, keep it up

likepilateihaveadog

It happened
It happened
I opened my mouth
We were all so tired
But I needed to walk you home
I don't think you saw it coming
And I'm not ashamed of anything my mouth ever said
Just maybe a little
That I waited too long
Waiting on library steps
Around the corner
I knew I had to
I knew
It was much the same night
More or less
A year before
How fantastic it was
To be there last night, twice
Looking in your eyes
At the stroke of midnight
On your birthday
So full of promise and future
The first time
And a full rotation later
An abolsute revolution
To be hugging in the front yard
As bookends
Knowing I'd fucked it all up
And that walk down the block
Will always be between us
There's no taking back
But how I wish
There was a going back
On going
Ongoing
Such times have past
And now, that too, while fresh
Has passed
And I wonder
The next time I'll look into those eyes
What will be staring back
I wonder
In wonder
Were the words not quite right, I think now
Or is it me
We'll see
But I had my chance
I'm sorry
Don't worry, forget it
But don't

It's true