Headlights

likepilateihaveadog

well...it's been awhile for me.
trying to write with my hands and actions lately, if you know what I mean.
this is off the top of my drunken head.
I'm gonna get back to the notebook tomorrow.

just needed some time.



Headlights


I remember flipping
the dial
for my headlights
in that parking lot
not too far away from here
while our friend lay asleep
in the back seat
not remembering
she had painted the walls in my dorm room
freshman year
but I knew
I remembered

we sat
listening to that voice
we had just heard in person
after so many years
on the headphones
and out of living room speakers
speaking
to our souls
and our father's
WE had seen him
we were there
so close
and it felt like a giant step forward at the time
for us, individually
and at the same time, together

but you had no idea

how much I had thought
lonely nights
thinking of this drive home
when I said you were my twin
but only to to lyrics
of your hero
later, realizing it not to be true
and this drive
you falling asleep
in the front seat
me, in total control
eyes, hands, right foot
setting the future for all our fates

and finally we made it back
to that city of roses
dropping off the sleeping beauty in the back
me, then, trying to park far away
so I could talk as I walked you home

and it never was so difficult
or so easy
as it was then
to tell the truth
to lay it all out
right there
on the sidewalk
which I had tramped so many times before
sun brightly shining
rain coming down a week later
another girl's vision dancing in my head
who knew you'd be neighbors?

but I said it
I did
and
and
I never thought I could
and my other side
knew the outcome
but wouldn't let that surface
beforehand
which made my coping all the easier

but you'll never know
the lonely nights
and the pages you've filled in my notebook
and the summer spent
waiting for this night
on that sidewalk
when you said no

you'll never know
but I wish someday you could
maybe on a song on the radio
one you won't be able to turn off
you'll look back
and realize
what we had
or what I thought was there
maybe

and that walk home alone
was the longest
ever

you'll never understand

or maybe,
it's me
who's not getting it

the headlights
on that drive home
blinding me
lulling you to sleep
how can this be
how can this be

the sidewalk
the sidewalk of broken dreams and new hopes
I hope you never move again
we can walk it
again
someday

jamjam

This is refreshing and thoughtful.
Thanx for sharing.

Being Enlightened

Beautiful and moving, likepilateihaveadog!