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...there...

jamainiacjamainiac Posts: 429
edited February 2006 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
I looked back this morning and saw a shape... standing outside my door...

was it you... there...

I've let go... my heart is calm but I still wonder...

I still need to say it out loud...

are you... there...

I picture you... all those years ago...

laying in the dark as the life ran from your body...

gunfire still ringing in the air... as those fuckers walked away and left you...there...

How I prayed for you to still be... there...

Used to pretend it was a lie...

that you weren't gone... you were still... there...

I know the truth... I know the man behind the gun... that held the bullets that took your life was empty... and lost... and now he's gone... there...

I want you to know... I still feel you in my heart... my soul... with every breath I breathe... I'm still here... and I think my heart finally understands....

you are... there... and you'll always be...
Exercising her will to lose control...
she lets go
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    Sad and very sweet, jamainiac. :) The last line made me smile.
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • jamainiacjamainiac Posts: 429
    Being Enlightened wrote:
    Sad and very sweet, jamainiac. :) The last line made me smile.

    Hey... thank you so much for taking the time to reply... I really needed to say that 'out loud'... and this is the only place I could say it without causing undue distress to those who know me... and the sad story...

    your note is appreciated more than you know :)

    Lisa
    Exercising her will to lose control...
    she lets go
  • decides2dreamdecides2dream Posts: 14,977
    awww jams.....:(
    i am glad you could get that out, and i i hope give you some small feeling of peace.
    Stay with me...
    Let's just breathe...


    I am myself like you somehow


  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    jamainiac wrote:
    Hey... thank you so much for taking the time to reply... I really needed to say that 'out loud'... and this is the only place I could say it without causing undue distress to those who know me... and the sad story...

    your note is appreciated more than you know :)

    Lisa

    Awwww, {{{Lisa}}}, you're welcome! :) Glad you were able to get it out and that you felt comfortable enough to do it here. And although it's a sad story, I like that the author was finally able to get to this point--

    "and I think my heart finally understands....

    you are... there... and you'll always be..." :):)

    You take care and please share more. :) It's always good to see some fresh faces around these parts. Been a long time since I've seen your name in the poetry section, jamainiac! :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • jamainiacjamainiac Posts: 429
    decides2dream wrote:
    awww jams.....:(
    i am glad you could get that out, and i i hope give you some small feeling of peace.

    Thank you my friend... I was going to talk to you about this the other night... my entire being had been getting ready for the day...hard to imagine it's been 9 years...

    but I think I'm really... finally okay... and it's beautiful to understand how through all the years of kicking and screaming and reaching backward... so much of what I messed up because of my obsessive love for him... has become such a big part of the person I'm proud to be today...

    :)
    Exercising her will to lose control...
    she lets go
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