a song I wrote in a coffee shop...

JerramJerram Posts: 41
edited September 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
A song I penned...any good?


Alia

v1
He’s the weary traveler
Who wants a bite to eat
She’s the girl behind the counter
Tending to his needs

v2
He glances at the tag
Alia is her name
She clutches to her rag
He now knows why he came

(Chord progression)/lift)
But with noone and nowhere to call home
Nothing seems to satisfy the hunger in his soul


Chorus:
Nourish me until tommorow’s light
Nourish me because I’ve got to fight
All the demons of the daily grind
My soul is yearning for a different life

Oh Alia, save me with your smile

v3
The coffee’s poured with care
She never spills a drop
Its all so skilled and perfect
The pot is just a prop

(chord progression/lift)
Pretending to be happy in costume
Her aching heart is nearly empty as the room

Chorus:
Nourish me until tommorow’s light
Nourish me because I’ve got to fight
All the demons of the daily grind
My soul is yearning for a different life

Oh , Alia can I hold you for awhile?

(Musical interlude)

v4
He sets his spoon aside
His plate is almost bare
She leaves the check and tries
Not to notice his stare

(chord progression/lift)
“Ya think you could join me for a drink?”
His desperate cry for company makes her stop to think…

Chorus:
Nourish me until tommorow’s light
Nourish me because I’ve got to fight
All the demons of the daily grind
Theirs souls are yearning for a different life
Oh Alia, can we try to make it right? (or…”can two dazed share one night?”)
"I wish I were a messenger and all the news was good" - E.V.
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • id have to hear it
    im messed
  • Well, you can only judge it lyrically now b/c I don't really have a melody yet. Thanks for reading ...
    "I wish I were a messenger and all the news was good" - E.V.
  • goes great I bet with an acoustic guitar
    Don't need a raincoat, I'm already wet..
  • Yeah that's my next purchase. I actually have a little melody in my head now...midtempo. Thanks!
    "I wish I were a messenger and all the news was good" - E.V.
  • AbuskedtiAbuskedti Posts: 1,917
    I've been there
  • to the coffee shop?!! or just in that mood?
    "I wish I were a messenger and all the news was good" - E.V.
  • AbuskedtiAbuskedti Posts: 1,917
    Originally posted by Jerram
    to the coffee shop?!! or just in that mood?

    both
  • rubyruby Posts: 103
    Originally posted by Abuskedti
    both

    Lol!

    Jerram, buy the guitar.
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