purpose
Felicity
Posts: 339
i know what you enjoy doing
it's the same as any other human
to delight the senses
to perceive with just words
or sweet messages
without actual touch or voice
for us, that keeps it private
no one else can pass judgment
or tell us to be ashamed
we have earned the right
to take pleasure as we wish
or not
loving ourselves each day
with our minds
as the catalyst
the brain as the organ
of the greatest desire
and the greatest fantasy
how few understand
the chemical triggers
that words and memories
can evoke
how many misconstrue
the intense feelings as real
but how many are right as well...
for i fell in love with you
our mutual masturbations
first a joke, then a treat,
finally aurally making love to you
while i set free
all that was pent up
it became deeper
than i ever could conceive
for you too
as confused as we were
how rare, how hidden
our purpose
intimacy
it's the same as any other human
to delight the senses
to perceive with just words
or sweet messages
without actual touch or voice
for us, that keeps it private
no one else can pass judgment
or tell us to be ashamed
we have earned the right
to take pleasure as we wish
or not
loving ourselves each day
with our minds
as the catalyst
the brain as the organ
of the greatest desire
and the greatest fantasy
how few understand
the chemical triggers
that words and memories
can evoke
how many misconstrue
the intense feelings as real
but how many are right as well...
for i fell in love with you
our mutual masturbations
first a joke, then a treat,
finally aurally making love to you
while i set free
all that was pent up
it became deeper
than i ever could conceive
for you too
as confused as we were
how rare, how hidden
our purpose
intimacy
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Comments
and i think i still will...in a few days
i think i know you
you have a great gift and i thank you so much for sharing it with us. looking forward to what the future might bring.
truth, it's what i live and seek each day, in every conversation with every person i speak with. sometimes it's brutal, but sometimes it has been blissful.
goulet, you think you know me? interesting, no one truly does. i wait for the one who cracks the code to my heart.
it's a complicated combination, one that cannot be bought or sold. that's how sure i am of holding on real tight to myself.
i'll be interested to read yours.
who locked your heart and do you still remember the combo.
that is to say, what if someone breaks in finally and without your permission? what if you aren't prepared and the love leaves you gasping like a shot to the solar plexus that might have actually felt somewhat decent?
I say talk. That truth you seek, I seek, it's got to be on the table, the honesty begs it of all of us. Stop whispering your secrets and someone may actually shout a joyous return.
it must be heard to be felt, even with deaf ears a vibration signals sound.
someone did break in, leaving me breathless, stunned...craving more...
i remember the combination quite clearly, burned behind my eyes, into my memory, like him, stretched out there on my flowered couch in the twinklelight glow...smiling, eager, vulnerable, loving...
i remember it like the anxious, excited vagabond who trusted and relaxed...i remember it like the boy who held my hand, rubbing a thumb across mine in secret affection, reassurance...i remember it like the eyes i can never forget, nor wish to. they belong to me...
i want to talk, say everything i hold inside, everything that wants to explode with life and ecstasy, i want him to follow up his words with actions that qualify his dreams, our dreams...i want to laugh and dance and crush him hard, feel alive, feel the punch to the gut...i want to know his every scent, wrinkle, nuance, tone...every cell of his being, because that precious one is immaculate, true, and loves me for everything i am, unconditionally.
i'm not afraid of honesty, speaking of all that has meaning, truth and understanding.
no more secrets, no more shame, here is my soul... and i await the joyous shout in return.
where do they stand?
funny how a hand, so soft and supple with the caressing fingertips can be curled into such a damaging tool. Even if only figuratively.
how can a dream be qualified, a figment be substantiated. Is it not noble enough to dream and to share the dream? Is verfication through remembrance not a good enough start?
and empty your pm box dear lady. LOL.
I am sorry to question, I would normally write but my mind is filled only with questions, no responses. Which happens from time to time.
i wish i knew what the cause of disavowing was for this unfortunate one. i can only speculate that the original intention was for things to not go this far. but since they have, i am allowed to continue dreaming, with an occasional glimpse, yet with no more than that. i think this person is of two minds (or more), in that they desire intimacy with one, yet crave to know so many, many more. it is very painful to have become one and been punished for it.
only by passing into the physical realm can a dream be qualified, by the mere fact that it becomes true. shared dreams, remembrances or fantasies are simply that, of the mind, not real.
convince me otherwise. is there room in my box now?
interesting comment, and perhaps a tad edgy but, that's not the point. the fact is, he is back and wanting things in a particular way. but i am a very stubborn felicity, as i don't like to be made to feel manipulated or forced into anything.
may i say, fins, that i appreciate your comment that you have been moved. thank you.
hunger at last.
Felicity, I've gotta stop reading these threads of yours. They just upset me and I apologize for the cynical response. It's my own old wound is all.
Cough......I'm quietly backing outta here.....
But then You make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what You got
When all You've got is hurt
----
Underneath this smile lies everything
All my hopes and anger, pride and shame
why would there ever be an ending? i believe in happy beginnings and it goes on from there. i don't see anything as a failure or mistake. it's all in how you perceive things.
that doesn't mean we don't get hurt or suffer pain, because with love you will always have that, even with the one you choose to be with in commitment. it's just the degree of pleasure and goodness should be higher with a loved one, so it balances out.
key ~ if the hurt and emotional pain consistently outweighs the feelgoodness, there's something wrong, isn't there? if someone knows you love them unconditionally but it's not reciprocated, or they don't demonstrate it in return, that can be very painful. maybe they can't trust, or maybe they think it's too good to be true, or maybe they had something else in mind. communicate your true core feelings, that's how you'll endear to each other. intimate and personal expression makes love blossom and endure.
all i am is me.
But then You make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what You got
When all You've got is hurt
----
Underneath this smile lies everything
All my hopes and anger, pride and shame
that reminds me of those obnoxious commercials where somebody is stuck for a way to answer in an awkward situation so they just say 'thank you?!' and everything is okay.
actually, i have a LOT to say...i'd just rather not in *public*...i've already shown too much of myself recently. but i really appreciate the answer and wisdom
But then You make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what You got
When all You've got is hurt
----
Underneath this smile lies everything
All my hopes and anger, pride and shame