you
Felicity
Posts: 339
they're all telling me to forget you
that it's a drain of emotional energy
trying to figure out if you're real
but i have always known
what it is between us
and we both agreed
to let it be what it is
without any rules or structure
and even this is part of it--
so when we forget
that there isn't any problem
that we are installed
deep within each other's love
forever and always
it contradicts what they say
because didn't we agree
that love is infinite and huge
and when we briefly touch down
into it
like a tornado's funnel
touching the earth
and the rapture and fantasy
enmesh within the energy
how is it we understand that
and can walk away
knowing that it never goes
but will come around again
in another form
teaching each other truths
within the realm
and being free inside
why is it so difficult
for some to comprehend
that no one belongs to anyone
and that we choose
who we share energy with
because it makes us feel good
ourselves/personally
even i forget that
sometimes
who would want to be
with a bitter and sad one
or one without that funny bone
ticklish ribs when i think of you
best friends
and happy eyes
oh make me laugh again
they don't understand you
but i do
sheer joy and madness
that it's a drain of emotional energy
trying to figure out if you're real
but i have always known
what it is between us
and we both agreed
to let it be what it is
without any rules or structure
and even this is part of it--
so when we forget
that there isn't any problem
that we are installed
deep within each other's love
forever and always
it contradicts what they say
because didn't we agree
that love is infinite and huge
and when we briefly touch down
into it
like a tornado's funnel
touching the earth
and the rapture and fantasy
enmesh within the energy
how is it we understand that
and can walk away
knowing that it never goes
but will come around again
in another form
teaching each other truths
within the realm
and being free inside
why is it so difficult
for some to comprehend
that no one belongs to anyone
and that we choose
who we share energy with
because it makes us feel good
ourselves/personally
even i forget that
sometimes
who would want to be
with a bitter and sad one
or one without that funny bone
ticklish ribs when i think of you
best friends
and happy eyes
oh make me laugh again
they don't understand you
but i do
sheer joy and madness
Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
I get denial and fear and panic.
I've written many myself... justifying why "we" are right when all of "you" are wrong / blind / unable to understand.
I'm reminded of myself some time ago, when I had every unscientific, unmathematical, unjustifiable reason behind me supporting me in my refusal to accept what everyone else knew.
And that's just me.
nice to see you felicity...
and i'd bet you'd argue cran the lack of scientificity (ha ha, new word)... in love... yes?
try and pen it down
how it feels
confused and ready
open the blinds
hoping light will shine in
through deep insides ..find truth
instead it's stormy out there
no comfort
with thunder and lightening
the waves that push and are my soul
start to crush and explode
with rhythms i'm fighting to control.. calm
take a deep breath don't drown.. don't know
how long i'll be down..
no choice but to roll in and out..
there's no calm before
no eye .. can't see through this hurricane
no outsides to make insides
inclusive and whole
be with me inside..always
be with me ..only you can calm this stormy soul
born of the oceans, daughter of a sailor
baby of the water ...you help me be..
only you know how i see
Me too. :(
i made you feel it,that's a compliment.
hey,cmr,you don't fool me,i think you secretly LOVE to feel intensely-including fear,panic and denial.and look at the flirting you do here!
the next boy i allow past the gate?he's going to have to pass muster with my friends and family.if only i had enforced that rule the first time.my family already knows he's going to be weird,so they're ready.
and ditchdolly--how beautiful to have that reliant presence faithfully,be it GOD,Jesus,a lover,a parent,a close friend.that one who is always present,who you never tire of talking with.i wish you love and tranquility inside.
thank you PN and jg.
No no no no no... don't misunderstand...
When I said I get sickness from the poem, I in no way meant it made me sick. I also didn't mean that I disliked it in any way.
All I meant was... it seemed to me like a poem in denial. The writer had the sickness of denial. Ya know? And I'm completely sure that was not your intent whatsoever.
But who said it had to be intentional?
At any rate, please don't think I was badmouthing your poem. It's really touching, and yes, it did make me feel... even if not the feelings you felt while writing it.
Thanks for posting this, Felicity. I liked it.
it's tres cool of you to respond again.it is definitely about denial, rationalizations justifications-so many that the intricate mental web of convincing or knowing what to believe or toss aside grows so huge that psychosis develops.i got these ideas while researching and reading about stalking,erotomania-which can actually happen simultaneously with two people.the never-ending circle of obsession,adoration,feelings of love and passion doesn't want to be broken by either or attempts at breaking it fail because the chemical impulses brought on by the excitement of thoughts of the other person are addicting.
fins,thanks for that succinct and intellectual slant on this eternally fascinating subject.don't you think though that unrequited love poetry of the romantics is just exactly about this though?obsession,fantasizing about the love object beyond their earthly realities,seeing perfection in all their quirks despite what everyone else says, etc.,hence the love is blind sensibility.
'if you could see her through my eyes...'
also,thank you for giving it your vote of success.it's like the actor who has to prepare for a role,sometimes living the character to the extreme,i sometimes feel that dipping into these other realities for the experience is exhausting.however --- no other way to get first hand knowledge of anything is there except to do it.prepare well,stick to the plan,have a learning objective,build on that when you succeed and then pass it on through writing music or art.
uh-oh.i'm feeling my brain snapping on.do you have any idea how you've stroked me and stoked me today?
i've always wanted a 3-some with 2 highly intelligent and sexy men.maybe again sometime.
It's one of the first things in my mind that turns me off to a poem, whenever I see a "you" in place of the name or description of whoever the poem is about I write it off as another breakup poem, it makes it almost impossible to connect in my mind, that just might be me though, as it seems the board is getting more and more of these lately, possibly more people breakup after winter's over and more women are starting to show skin
some of the poem was refreshing though and I wouldn't say this falls under the blanket cliche of the breakup poetry but again, I personally dislike the forceful you, you, you poems.
that idea about breakups happening because of the exposure of skin doesn't make any sense.what did they do all winter stay fully clothed in bed?duh.
i know,you're just talking about being able to ogle unknown skins and textures with an interest in touching which could lead to much more.uh-huh.
in fact,lennon-mccartney wrote a lot of their songs intentionally using 'you' to speak directly to their female audience,and we all know the impact that had and also so that their male listeners had ammo for their own motives.pretty good,huh?
maybe the use of you in a controversial poem just preys on your conscience.if it was about something positive YOU might feel differently.
>>>>>>>>>>you don't fool me,evil.i know you're playing devil's advocate.and don't write me back denying it because that's part of it too.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<LOL!!!
Writing to abstractions was ok in the 17th century when everyone was constrained to rhyming verse and pantameters but that's not when we live, it's been done. We're looking at the world, a much more complicated world, with a fresh perspective, and sloshy ballads of love lost in rhyme where the only tangible characters are the adverbs, you, me, us, and we should be left by the wayside.
This isn't just me, I'm trapped in academia at the moment, and Fins as you all can tell by his posts is knee deep in doctoral or graduate work of some kind, this is the poetry of our day. If we are going to look back we have to fuse it with something new and fresh, you can all feel free to disagree with me, I happen to think I'm a pretty good writer, I have plenty of posts on here if you'd like some ammo for a counter-argument but I am certainly not playing devil's advocate, I think a lot of the poems on this board have great sentiment and their are moments of clarity but most get so bogged down in abstraction that they make it impossible for an audience to identify with other than, I felt sad too once, or Yeah break ups suck, if you're just writing to relieve stress that's fine, but that's not what poetry is about. It's about creating something that people can relate too and discover a piece of themselves through your words because something you've said has touched them in. Poets are simply the mathematicians of humanity, we have 26 characters to choose from and poetry are our infinitely complex algorithms. That seems to be about enough. I look forward to the counter post
AN INTERLUDE.
IN the greenest growth of the Maytime,
I rode where the woods were wet,
Between the dawn and the daytime;
The spring was glad that we met.
There was something the season wanted,
Though the ways and the woods smelt sweet;
The breath at your lips that panted,
The pulse of the grass at your feet.
You came, and the sun came after,
And the green grew golden above;
And the flag-flowers lightened with laughter,
And the meadow-sweet shook with love.
Your feet in the full-grown grasses
Moved soft as a weak wind blows;
You passed me as April passes,
With face made out of a rose.
By the stream where the stems were slender,
Your bright foot paused at the sedge;
It might be to watch the tender
Light leaves in the springtime hedge,
On boughs that the sweet month blanches
With flowery frost of May:
It might be a bird in the branches,
It might be a thorn in the way.
I waited to watch you linger
With foot drawn back from the dew,
Till a sunbeam straight like a finger
Struck sharp through the leaves at you.
And a bird overhead sang Follow,
And a bird to the right sang Here;
And the arch of the leaves was hollow,
And the meaning of May was clear.
I saw where the sun's hand pointed,
I knew what the bird's note said;
By the dawn and the dewfall anointed,
You were queen by the gold on your head.
As the glimpse of a burnt-out ember
Recalls a regret of the sun,
I remember, forget, and remember
What Love saw done and undone.
I remember the way we parted,
The day and the way we met;
You hoped we were both broken-hearted,
And knew we should both forget.
And May with her world in flower
Seemed still to murmur and smile
As you murmured and smiled for an hour;
I saw you turn at the stile.
A hand like a white wood-blossom
You lifted, and waved, and passed,
With head hung down to the bosom,
And pale, as it seemed, at last.
And the best and the worst of this is
That neither is most to blame
If you've forgotten my kisses
And I've forgotten your name.
As she slams the door in his drunken face
And now he stands outside
And all the neighbours start to gossip and drool
He cries oh, girl you must be mad,
What happened to the sweet love you and me had?
Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
And his tears fall and burn the garden green
My apologies. I did not mean to offend.
Thought it was easy to fall in love but U, U, U
You're different this much I know yah U, U, U
It might be your gile, it could be your mind
It might be the way you take your time, oh U, U, U
U, it's U, it's U U U
oh U, it's U, it's U U U
I never know how much to say w/ U U U
I'd like to go deep but is it safe w/ U U U
It might be your needs, it could be your eyes, it might be the way you sympathize... oh U U U
U, it's U, it's U U U
oh U, it's U, it's U U U
U break laws and pay no fines
U get yours and then get mine
I don't think it's easy to stay in love but U U U
U, it's U, it's U U U
oh U, it's U, it's U U U
Oh U, it's U, it's U, it's U
Ah U U U it's U, it's U U U U
apologies?i did not mean to confuse.
evil,here is my reply to YOU-haha.although i would love to go off on the whys and wherefors of poetry writing like what really is poetry and what is as you say relieving stress --- here's what catches my attention:
if i read some words and they make me feel something like the writer was feeling at the time of writing,i like it.i don't always have to relate to it personally.in fact who the hell am i to criticize anyone's writing?
being steeped in academia one can tend towards pretentiousness as well.the overuse of unusual vocabulary is tedious to me.but sometimes it is intentional and i laugh in the absurd moment of brilliance.
yes,it appears there is someone breaking hearts left,right,and centre on here according to the cry-baby poetry of late.
ladies.get a grip.he's not going to arrive like a knight in shining armour no matter what he said.he gave you a fantasy and now you have to live your own life,get back to reality.he's not real.
'i would die 4U'
Shakespeare wrote 126 "you" sonnets in his 154 sonnet sequence. They were the best ones.