*secret*

Felicity

is it still a secret when you know
at least thirty other people
could recognize your face
and know things you said
or what your true heart feels

is it still a secret when there is
something set up for you
at every other turn
whether you see it or not
choose to find it or not

is it still a secret when you see
the evidence of tentativeness
on whether to believe
in that thing that is infinite
with that one special mind

or has the heart lain open
all this time
bleeding and aching
screaming to be believed
and taking every small nth
as fuel for the beautiful truth
and hoping she hasn't lied
because trust was so long
in building
and your love has been
in earnest

"i'm not telling you everything
because if i say too much
i'll be the fool and
then you'll have advantage,
but if i say just enough
then you can take it
either way, and i'm hoping
you'll know i really mean it
even though
i'm not sure-yet"

you see i know the secret
about the secret
and it makes me laugh
and it makes me cry
likes to make me feel
things i never have
in quite the same way
the underlying thread
is the real truth
while the facade is the lie
and when i say it's okay
i really mean that
because you are free
to be whatever you want
with or without me

FinsburyParkCarrots

I just caught this poem, Felicity. Very good and true. Thank you for posting this.