left.

of_the_girl

they left you there
the clouds rushed in
and you drowned
they left you there
unsavable
crowded by pain
and bolts of guilt
alone
in solitude
the sinister sky laughing at you
sobbing with the sky
and i, your sun,
trapped in a glass cage
couldn't even save you
you lie there
where they left you
shivering and naked
and pleading for my light
to rescue you
but sometimes even the sun
cannot save a tortured
soul

FinsburyParkCarrots

This is pretty damned good, Jessie!

Thank you for this poem!

of_the_girl

Thank you Finsbury.

stickboy

wow!
Its as if you knew and described exactly how I felt 1 day on a mountaintop in Greece. It reminded me of that day. Thank you bebe!;)

of_the_girl

nailz100

Nice poem Jessie....very nice poem. The theme reminds me of alot of stuff I have written about where the person was just beyond my reach...

Buru

very, very nice...

the repetition of "they left you there" - very effective

Swan

I usually don't post comments here, but that was really good.

stickboy

wow jess!

PearlJamDowner

Well Jessie is the cutest girl on the board.

tracingdaisies

I likes.

And while I was reading, for some reason a trapped Tinkerbell unable to rescue Peter Pan from danger popped into my head. Not that your pwem was cartoonish...just that I'll bet you're a Tinkerbell. :-P

of_the_girl

Nailz, thanks for the comment. Hearing such things from such an amazing writer really gives me that spark to try and write lovely pieces. I am really glad you liked this particular writing. *sends smiles your way*

Buru, once again, you have a gorgeous mind... and your comments mean the world to me.

Miracle, it's rare that I see you comment in my little corners of the board. So it made me smile to see that you liked my piece. Thanks a lot.

Stick, thanks again.

PearlJamDowner, awww!! That was sweet of you. Thanks for the compliments.

And finally, the loverly tracingdaisies!! Hey girlie! I'm glad you liked it. And I really loved the connection you made between my poem and a trapped tinkerbell. I quite liked that image and felt it matched very well to what I was getting at in the poem. You've got quite the lovely mind. Kindred spirit, yes.

nailz100

You're the amazing writer here Jess! You have a way with words that I could never posess even If I lived to be 100. *smiles back*. I tell you...the amount of gifted/ talented writers on this board just boggles my mind sometimes.