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blind

of_the_girlof_the_girl Posts: 745
edited February 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
if i went blind
i could trace the outline
of your face
for i have
memorized every scar
every freckle
every thing possible
i know the way your eyebrows arch
and the way your
hair spikes playfully
and the way your lips rest
especially when
they're kissing me
if i went blind
i could touch your
eyelids
and know
you were you
and dreaming of me
"At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet." --Plato

www.myspace.com/birdinamitten
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • CranMalReignCranMalReign Posts: 1,928
    Pretty sentiment... I would just change "I were blind" to "I went blind"...

    I get the sense of memory, which you wouldn't have if you were always blind.

    Of course, you could be describing things on a higher, less tangible plain than I'm on, in which case, give me the finger and send me on my way. :)
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  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    "I go blind---yeah-heya"

    Reminds me of 54-40 and "I Go Blind"--great song!

    And this was a lovely poem. So "in tune"! :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • SoundSound Posts: 579
    is that love?
    It was a dream, not a nightmare. A beautiful dream I could never imagined in a thousand nods. I saw this girl next to me, she wasn't beautiful until she smiled. And I felt that smile come at me in heat waves following. Soaking through my body and out my finger tips in shafts of color. And I knew somewhere in the world, somewhere, that there was love for me.

    Jim Carrol
  • of_the_girlof_the_girl Posts: 745
    Originally posted by CranMalReign
    Pretty sentiment... I would just change "I were blind" to "I went blind"...

    I get the sense of memory, which you wouldn't have if you were always blind.

    Of course, you could be describing things on a higher, less tangible plain than I'm on, in which case, give me the finger and send me on my way. :)

    hehe no flippin' the bird here... you're right... so i edited and made the revision :)

    thanks for the advice!
    "At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet." --Plato

    www.myspace.com/birdinamitten
  • of_the_girlof_the_girl Posts: 745
    Originally posted by Being Enlightened
    "I go blind---yeah-heya"

    Reminds me of 54-40 and "I Go Blind"--great song!

    And this was a lovely poem. So "in tune"! :)

    aww!! hehe that song is great... and thank you for the compliment :)
    "At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet." --Plato

    www.myspace.com/birdinamitten
  • of_the_girlof_the_girl Posts: 745
    Originally posted by Sound
    is that love?

    love is hard to define... i wrote this poem out of love... and i guess in some ways this poem can be a definition of one of love's elements... love is too large to explain...

    but sometimes it's elements are easy to write about

    this poem is an expression of love, but not love itself
    "At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet." --Plato

    www.myspace.com/birdinamitten
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