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love cocktail

of_the_girlof_the_girl Posts: 745
edited August 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
melding and mixing
swirling and whirling
thoughts and heartthoughts
fading slowly
the blade
spins sharply
the soul
crumbles softly
twisting and wringing
singing and rolling
tornadoes of
heartswirls in
hands that
feel calloused
sipping and drinking
tasting and digesting
love sometimes doesn't
go down very well...

~*~*~*~*~*~

mmmhmmmmmm. yessssssss. this poem brings me back to much confusion in an old relationship. why do i torture myself by bringing up the past??

growwwl.
"At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet." --Plato

www.myspace.com/birdinamitten
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • AndyMandersonAndyManderson Posts: 167
    Our minds must be in sync right now or something, you just hit the nail right on the head. <3
  • A HitchHiker PoetA HitchHiker Poet Posts: 129
    It reads well with a cocktail..nice poem
    Don't need a raincoat, I'm already wet..
  • of_the_girlof_the_girl Posts: 745
    Originally posted by AndyManderson
    Our minds must be in sync right now or something, you just hit the nail right on the head. <3

    "our minds must be in sync right now"
    warm and comforting thought indeed. :)
    <3
    "At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet." --Plato

    www.myspace.com/birdinamitten
  • of_the_girlof_the_girl Posts: 745
    Originally posted by A HitchHiker Poet
    It reads well with a cocktail..nice poem

    hah! that is awesome. i'm glad my poem goes well with a cocktail. that comment put a smile on my face. *giggling* :) thanks.
    "At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet." --Plato

    www.myspace.com/birdinamitten
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Posts: 12,223
    Originally posted by of_the_girl
    melding and mixing
    swirling and whirling
    thoughts and heartthoughts
    fading slowly
    the blade
    spins sharply
    the soul
    crumbles softly
    twisting and wringing
    singing and rolling
    tornadoes of
    heartswirls in
    hands that
    feel calloused
    sipping and drinking
    tasting and digesting
    love sometimes doesn't
    go down very well...

    ~*~*~*~*~*~

    mmmhmmmmmm. yessssssss. this poem brings me back to much confusion in an old relationship. why do i torture myself by bringing up the past??

    growwwl.

    I love the spiralling swirl of participles (all those -ings here), and the useful of enjambment (all those run-on lines, I mean), and the alliteration (heartswirls/hands), and the assonance (hands/calloused), and the internal half-rhyme in 'tasting'/'digesting'.

    Well done! I really liked this. Heady, and visceral, it is.
  • of_the_girlof_the_girl Posts: 745
    Originally posted by FinsburyParkCarrots
    I love the spiralling swirl of participles (all those -ings here), and the useful of enjambment (all those run-on lines, I mean), and the alliteration (heartswirls/hands), and the assonance (hands/calloused), and the internal half-rhyme in 'tasting'/'digesting'.

    Well done! I really liked this. Heady, and visceral, it is.

    mmmm i could drink your words finsbury on a hot summer day and be quenched!! :D i looove your comments, always. *ahugfortheroad*
    "At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet." --Plato

    www.myspace.com/birdinamitten
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