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poem i wrote

keyser_sozekeyser_soze London, England Posts: 205
edited November 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
hey there, i wrote this poem for college and i'm looking for opinions on it
The tutorial class i'm doing is about the south of america during civil rights movment and treatment of blacks and attitudes.

anyway it inspired me to write this poem from the perspective of a racist "gentleman". Opinions???

White


Goddamn, I hate blacks,
Hate them spics, dirt like rats,
Pollute my world, White is pure,
I love God, my church, my cure.

Co-exist? Hah! It’s my world,
White Male American, praise the Lord,
Fucking Jews, Where’s my gun?
Off to Israel, run, run, run,

Kill, Kill, Kill, Hate, Hate, Hate
But don’t have sex! It’s Hell for that,
Damn those gays, fucking fags,
Round them up, bound and gag,

Don’t agree? I’ll kill you,
God given right, you’re bad as Jew,
Black and White, just no grey,
It’s so simple, I’m right, Always.
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Comments

  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    Damn that's one fucked up dude you painted there, keyser_soze! I can just picture this fucker wearing his little white hoody and torching crosses on balck folk's, or as he'd call 'em, nigger's, lawns and sending his poor kids to KKK Kamp...

    Your poem made me angry but that's good, it should! I'm amazed that there still are people like this in the world today, it's bloody sickening!

    My only suggestion is that you not be afraid to use the "n" word for blacks in your poem, I mean, your character says "spics" and I just feel he wouldn't call blacks, blacks, he's just not that polite. :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • keyser_sozekeyser_soze London, England Posts: 205
    Being Enlightened wrote:
    Damn that's one fucked up dude you painted there, keyser_soze! I can just picture this fucker wearing his little white hoody and torching crosses on balck folk's, or as he'd call 'em, nigger's, lawns and sending his poor kids to KKK Kamp...

    Your poem made me angry but that's good, it should! I'm amazed that there still are people like this in the world today, it's bloody sickening!

    My only suggestion is that you not be afraid to use the "n" word for blacks in your poem, I mean, your character says "spics" and I just feel he wouldn't call blacks, blacks, he's just not that polite. :)

    you're right. good call. some people i showed it to said it was too much of a generelisation and too sensational. what do you think? thinking of changing title to Klan to make it easier to see who the character is
    www.facebook.com/PandoraApparel
  • Being EnlightenedBeing Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    keyser_soze wrote:
    you're right. good call. some people i showed it to said it was too much of a generelisation and too sensational. what do you think? thinking of changing title to Klan to make it easier to see who the character is

    Hmmm, well, I think you're telling the story of one man who encompasses the hate, and portray's the same symptoms of living in hate that could be attributed to most, if not all, like him. I think it should be over the top and shocking because people like this, are just that! They say and do and believe in hiddeous, hateful, wretched things and the character you created WOULD speak in ways that make most of us cringe. It's really good! I like that it's bold and "in your face". I applaud people who will go where many are afraid to tread.

    I don't think you should change the title to Klan, it says too much right off the top that doesn't need said. You get that word in your head as you read anyway. I think you could easily stick with "White" and be fine.
    Shoot, you could even call it W.M.A.! ;)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • pacifierpacifier Posts: 1,009
    I think it's good but I didn't like the following very much

    Kill, Kill, Kill, Hate, Hate, Hate
    But don’t have sex! It’s Hell for that,
    Damn those gays, fucking fags,
    Round them up, bound and gag,

    it seemed to get off track. If you are saying no mixing of the blood, then you did it better with the blank, white, grey statement. Plus for me the Kill, Kill, Kill, Hate, Hate, Hate didn't seem to fit well. It made me think of the Itchy and Scratchy show :) But on the whole you are definately getting the idea across.

    How did people become racist? It's hard to believe. Especially the idea of one race being superior to another. I will never understand
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