I Think I Feel

grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
I think I feel
(I think I want to)
Good about plants growing green
(I think that is a very good thing)
Lush and buxom up the creaky eaves
Of the mansion which sits abandoned
On the southern corner of Thornwald Park,
Falling apart.

I think I see
(I think I want to)
The satchel of a squatter
Slid under the boxed porch
(collecting dust, free at last);
An army-green bag
Stuffed with maybe old bananas,
Hubcaps, unusable keys.
I wheel around
In the clearing,
But there is no squatter,
No sign of life
(not even old cigarette packs
or bottles of Heineken).

I think I feel
(I think I feel)
A concrete envy
Of the life which must take place here:
Swatting Mayflies in the heat-soaked dusk
As somewhere in town the banks are closing
And television sets click on,
Heating soup on a Bunson burner
Imagining all of history
In a clearing in Thronwald Park.
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Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    I would love any constructive criticism on this one....
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  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    Man, would I love the Edit feature right about now!! Anyway, I spelled the name of the park two different ways in the poem here. The correct way is: Thornwald Park.
    .........................................................................
  • AliAli Posts: 2,621
    i liked it groove.no better way to spend a saturday night other than reading your fine works:)
    A whisper and a thrill
    A whisper and a chill
    adv2005

    "Why do I bother?"
    The 11th Commandment.
    "Whatever"

    PETITION TO STOP THE BAN OF SMOKING IN BARS IN THE UNITED STATES....Anyone?
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    Ali wrote:
    i liked it groove.no better way to spend a saturday night other than reading your fine works:)

    Awww, shucks...you're a swetie, A. :)
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  • ISNISN Posts: 1,700
    I think I like it
    (I'm sure I do)
    I think I've read it
    (I know I have)
    it's pretty good
    (it's great!!!)
    ....they're asking me to prove why I should be allowed to stay with my baby in Australia, because I'm mentally ill......and they think I should leave......
  • justamjustam Posts: 21,410
    I like it !! :)

    (I like the way you have set up a pattern with the phrases in (-) and I like the repetition.)
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • I like it....so different
    It doesnt hurt.... when I bleed
    but memories...they eat me
    I've seen it all before,...
    bring it on cause I'm no victim.
    -Ghost
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    Thank you all quite so much!
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  • CoffeeHoundCoffeeHound Posts: 12
    Thanks for sharing this one, groove...quite beautiful.
    the Hound
  • The Groove triumphs again!! I honestly feel I should be paying you to read this stuff...
    i can still bite my toenails.
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    The Groove triumphs again!! I honestly feel I should be paying you to read this stuff...

    that won't be necessary....but if you insist, I'll PM you my home address...

    seriously, though, thanks for the mega-ego boost!
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  • The Groove triumphs again!! I honestly feel I should be paying you to read this stuff...

    got that right! I'm with christmas here.
    If going right is wrong, I don't wanna go right!
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