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Upon My Final Ride

grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
edited May 2005 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Bury me, when appropriate,
somewhere at a unique distance
from isolation.
Shower me with sod
and earth
at that spatial compensation
between nature and antiquity.
Please, on my
first day of no
breakfast, divide what
I have been from the open
space surrounding.
No human body--
working or broken--
has ever been fully assimilated
to the space between itself
and what matters.
Upon my final ride
I beg you
see no harm in
clockwork or finalities,
or in grass becoming dirt.
.........................................................................
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Posts: 12,223
    That's a fine poem.
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    That's a fine poem.

    Thanks, Fins! Good to see you again!

    Whatever happened to Blissweave, anyway? I posted over there a week or so ago and noticed it appears to have nearly died....?
    .........................................................................
  • FinsburyParkCarrotsFinsburyParkCarrots Posts: 12,223
    I've been busy. I'll get that thing going again sometime in the summer, maybe.
  • grooveamaticgrooveamatic Posts: 1,374
    FinsburyParkCarrots wrote:
    I've been busy. I'll get that thing going again sometime in the summer, maybe.

    glad to hear it...i never truly utilized it, but it was nice to know it was there...

    and I hope the busyness is a good thing.
    .........................................................................
  • Innocent_BystanderInnocent_Bystander Posts: 615
    Really like the poem, but I just think the name doesn't do it justice. It seems lame and weak, compared to the powerful poem. Just my thoughts, no offense or anything.
    Life reveals what is dealt through seasons
    Circle comes around each time
  • EvilToasterElfEvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
    Innocent_Bystander wrote:
    Really like the poem, but I just think the name doesn't do it justice. It seems lame and weak, compared to the powerful poem. Just my thoughts, no offense or anything.

    I agree here groove, the title I think can be tightened a bit, but excellent poem

    "shower of sod" - awesome image

    the only other critique I would make is that


    and between nature and antiquity - this line could be stronger I think
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