The Last Poem

grooveamatic

The Last Poem

If I wanted to say something new
(that's never been said before)
About the drudgery of aging
And passing time
Years building up upon you
Like solid walls of heaviest stone
I'd train to be a painter or dramatist;
Poems are so small next to decades.

If I wanted to complain about sagging bellies,
Calloused feet, the ache here and the pain there
(that never hurt before)
The hair falling out,
The dark mysterious shroud enveloping us
The moment pubics sprout,
I think I'd become a sculptor or dancer;
Words are so woefully weightless.

If I were inclined to break new ground
(that's never been broke before)
About the wrinkled dying masses,
Their hearts beating to nowhere
With souls sweeter than molasses
And graves shallower than wells,
I'd go to school for business or law;
All language ever did was reflect oblivion.

This should be the last poem I'll ever write
(of course it won't be, of course it couldn't be)
But from now on I'll only write about flowers,
Moonbeams landing on still ponds,
Fish that leap and miss the net,
Lovers sweating on a candlelit balcony,
Cold clothes left by the fire.
I'll stop writing about things that baffle me.

grooveamatic

Hi everybody! I've missed you all!

Here is my offering for now. Please: comments and criticism of all varieties are welcome and desired! I know I can make this better!

EvilToasterElf

this is clever, and well written, some might argue but for me I think the phrases in ( ) could be just as effective without the paranthesis or simply not in the poem at all

pearlmutt

groove, I think it's just great.

I'm going to my little ole bookshelf because it reminds of something in top 2345899 American poems of 200?

You are top notch!

pearlmutt

Okay, bookshelf visited. And I'll be damned I was wrong about the title it's The Best American Poetry 2001 (and guess who wrote the intro, Robert freaking Hass, go figure)



(it's really long)

so the last stanza of:

I stopped writing poetry . . .
by Bernard Welt

I stopped writing poetry
but as satisfying as it has been to turn my back on it
as on a distant homeland fallen under the spell of a fascist party
still a breeze reaches me from time to time fragrant of verse
and suddenly I am as nostalgic as an exiled Russian
grand duke waiting on tables in Paris in a screwball comedy
sometimes I wonder would it really be so terrible
if I wrote just one more line

grooveamatic

EvilToasterElf wrote:

this is clever, and well written, some might argue but for me I think the phrases in ( ) could be just as effective without the paranthesis or simply not in the poem at all

hmmm...this is something to think about. Truly, those lines are superfluous and I admit they exist only to advance my Voice; they don't necessarily serve the poem in any grand function (except the entendre inherent in the verb broke in the third stanza, which I enjoy quite a lot)...but the question is, how much do I want to keep them in there, stubbornly? And also, does anyone else agree that those lines could go?

Elf: I thank you for your assistance!

grooveamatic

PEARLMUTT: I think I like Bernard Welt very much!

Thanks again for your encouragement! You rock!

tsopotelba

I like the () lines. I like the ()s.

grooveamatic

tsopotelba wrote:

I like the () lines. I like the ()s.

Thanks!


Here's a question for everybody: did anyone notice, in the 3rd stanza, that "masses" rhymes with "molasses"? This is accidental; as none of the rest of the poem rhymes, is the accidental rhyme a distraction?

EvilToasterElf

grooveamatic wrote:

Thanks!


Here's a question for everybody: did anyone notice, in the 3rd stanza, that "masses" rhymes with "molasses"? This is accidental; as none of the rest of the poem rhymes, is the accidental rhyme a distraction?

I did notice, but the occassionaly rhyme doesn't detract from a poem in most cases

Ali

Groove...I LOVE your writings.You always come across with such professional quality...I wish I could...especially with my experimental blunders!
Anyway...good to hear you.....!:)
ali